Well i can feel your pain I have been married 14 yrs....But I am 34...we have been together since i was 16 and he was 21.... Now he is 38 soon to be 39 and i am lucky if we do it twice a month... I have read the previous comments and I knoww he is not cheating because if he is not right in front of me he's callin or text'n.... what doe we do I'm horney as hell and I really do not want to cheat but man I'm going crazy...... what should I do???????/

Driven2live- sounds exactly like me. He always had energy for friends, family, work, hobbies but when I tried having sex he was "too tired." Nothing I did worked. I even asked him to just kiss me and see where it would go. Nope. Special dinners, $200 worth of sexy panties and outfits (he didn't even want to see), trying to go down on him...NOTHING WORKED. And it started right after we officially became a couple. Before that we had a great sex life. We just broke up. He told me this always happened in his relationships. At first I was upset I wasted all this time (over a year) but now I can't wait to find a guy with a normal sex drive.

The worst part of it all was he didn't even want to try to get into the mood. Self esteem killer.

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and it has gotten to the point that we don't have sex but maybe once every couple months. It's rediculous!!! I have tried EVERYTHING and nothing works. I have tried the lengerie and candle lit dinner when he gets home, massage, movie while we cuddle and NOTHING works! He is a work a holic, I know. I also know that he's not cheating on me because he is ALWAYS at work. He works 11 hours a day and he's off two. His days off are not back to back either, they're split up, like Tue and Thursday. It sucks! Every time I try to get intimate, he shrugs me off and says, "Not now, I'm watching the movie", or something like that. There is always something more important than being intimate with me. It's come to the point that I think if we ever did get intimate, we wouldn't know what to do. It would feel awkward.

Any suggestions?

Sex once a week isn't typical for 20 year olds, but I don't think it's outside the range of normal. Sometimes the woman is the hornier person in the couple.

There are a lot of different possibilities for why he isn't in the mood like stress at work or adjusting to parenting or lack of sleep. If he doesn't want to talk about it, I would recommend trying to make sure he is as happy and well-rested as possible. Think like a guy and do romantic things with him so he feels close to you. Remember that everything is foreplay and the time you bend over in a low-cut blouse on Tuesday may get you what you want on Thursday.

You may have gotten into a vicious circle where fear of being pressured stops him from being sexual. Being the guy and wanting it less only makes things worse and maybe even leads to fear of impotence. So one possible strategy would be to let him know you're not going to ask for it and stick to that. Do touching things like massage, but not sex. Or even pretend that you're not interested in sex and see if he makes a pass at you. It's very unfair and unfeminist, but it may work.

dam thats crazy maybe you need 2 either give some mean gum, have a 3some, or he needs to going out or you need 2 leave the pajamas alone and and put something sexy on for him to realize what he has or he could be wanting someone else its odvious your regular to him maybe he lost his drive you have options.

Men are not always in the mood. That's part of the reason why you guy may feel down on himself. Maybe he's just not that sexual and all the pressure to have sex and be sexy is working against him. I'd be careful about anti-depressants since they tend to alter a person's sexual chemistry. Try being active. Maybe he's feeling sluggish after coming out of the colder months and needs to exercise and get fit in order to feel good about himself and want to get naked!

I don't like to put this out there, it's painful to think about. You know he might be cheating. A man is always in the mood, 24/7. So the men i've dated say. If you walk past him buck naked, and he doesn't even flinch, that's a problem. He might also be addicted to porn, and relying on that to satisfy his sex drive. I hope he isn't actually depressed, but you need to find out first if either of the two things I mentioned are the source of the problem. If not, I recomend trying to spice up your sex life with any means possible. Their are resources- cosmopolotin, life-script, web-md etc. Pills should be a last resort, all they will do is make him numb emotionally. This is a problem you can resolve, without medicine. Don't give up! If you love him fight for him.