My wife and I are not empty nesters yet but very close. Sounds like you need to date each other once again. Whatever you enjoyed doing before the children, renew that in your relationship. Buy the two of you some romantic games that might appeal to you both. Suggest trying role playing in those more organic times. My wife and I both have a rather good imagination and vocabulary so the script is always freelance and so we have fun molding the conversation. Here's an idea. Most men love massages. How about pretend to offer him a topless massage at your pretend massage place or why not give him a lap dance during which just use your imagination.