YourTango Experts tell us how to make space for love, in our closets and our lives.
It's a fundamental law of physics that two things can't occupy the same space at the same time. A closet full of unused, unworn and unwanted stuff—in other words, a pile of crap—leaves no room for the buttery soft suede jacket, strappy little heels, or sexy red dress you'd love to buy. This law of physics is true in every aspect of life. You can't simultaneously have a good attitude and a bad attitude, be stuck in a rut and on the go, feel great about yourself and be plagued by self-doubt, embrace self-limiting beliefs and soar to new heights. What Your Clothes Say About Your Love Life
It's up to you to choose what will occupy space in your life. Ask yourself one simple question: is this sweater, dress, old love letter, friend, belief, or attitude adding to your life in a positive way? If the answer is no, toss it. You may feel a pang when you throw away the pictures of an ex, or a favorite dress that no longer fits, or even a friendship that's more toxic than healthy, but you'll also feel liberated of the physical and emotional burdens those things bring.
Be surgical in assessing what's serving you and what's not. And, remember, not everything old is bad. The classic Audrey Hepburn black dress, as well as the belief that you're worth the best, should be kept forever. The sweatshirt you bought in Yellowstone Park 12 years ago, the there-are-no-good-men-left attitude, the I'm-a-loser belief, and anything else that is weighing you down or holding you back from having the life you want needs to go. If you can't bring yourself to do the tossing, get help from a friend, a professional organizer or a counselor. Dress Your Way To Better Sex
—Shela Dean, Relationship Coach
If you are struggling with deciding what speaks to who you really are, ask yourself the following four questions:
1. Does it fit? (Like, really, fit?)
2. Is it age appropriate? (Just because it fits does not mean you should wear it!)
3. Is it conducive to my relationship status? (If you haven't been to a club since you started dating your boyfriend five years ago, ditch all the tube tops, mini-skirts, and eye glitter. Their presence may be indicative of your fear of commitment or a need to be validated by the entire male species—no wonder your boyfriend gets insecure!)