Designing your relationships: Discover the basics

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Let’s focus on relationship basics. Our over-arching theme—Learn, Practice and Master Essential Relationship Success Skills—means that you are:

  • Becoming more and more emotionally intelligent;
  • Being proactive;
  • Acting on your own behalf;
  • Asserting yourself based on recognizing and owning your preferences;
  • Making choices and decisions driven by your values;
  • Honoring your legitimate needs, and meeting them or getting them met by other people;
  • Setting, maintaining, and honoring your boundaries;
  • Crafting elegant agreements;
  • Repairing hurt feelings and making-up, and much more!

Whether you are dating, taking a break from dating, at the beginning of building a committed relationship, or just want to make a good relationship even better, the essential relationships skills and tools that are required to build and maintain the life that you love with the love of your life!

 

And here’s the good news! It is never too early (I’m not even dating yet!) to learn and practice these skills and tools; and it is never too late (…its like we are strangers; we are so distant from each other)! Long-term relationships that haven’t met your needs for a long time can be positively influenced and impacted!

So buckle up and let’s start at the beginning and talk about learning, practicing and mastering essential relationship success skills. Even though this article is written from the perspective of dating, understand that if you actively engage in embracing some of these concepts and behaviors, you will positively and powerfully impact your marriage forever.

When you are dating to meet a partner and build a life together it is essential to know what your needs and values are; and what his or her needs and values are.

Most of our needs and values are acquired as we grow up and reflect those of the people closest to us during that period. At some later time in life, mature, emotionally intelligent men and women start unwrapping the beliefs, attitudes and values that were held by their families and passed on to them as if they were the ultimate truth!

When you form a relationship, the compatibility of your needs and values will contribute to the strength of that relationship. So taking the time to sort out what your needs and values are from those passed down to you is essential work to do before you jump head first into that daunting process we call dating or wonder where to go to meet Mr. I hope you are the right one this time!

So let’s be clear: We all have needs, and our needs are legitimate. The problem, though, is that many of us may confuse the concept of neediness, something very different, with having real and legitimate needs that can be reasonably met!

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

©2009-2010 Dr. Jackie Black, LLC All rights reserved
http://www.CrackingTheCodeBooks.com is a member of the Dr. Jackie Black, LLC family of companies
W: http://www.DrJackieBlack.com E: DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com

This article may be re-published with appropriate attribution to the author including name, web site and email address.

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DID YOU KNOW?

You can recover from a break-up or a divorce, get back out there and create your Divine Right Love-Relationship once and for all!

Come join Jackie Black, Ph.D. and Rachel Moheban, LCSW for a 3-part TeleClass Series in November!

More information at:
http://divinerightloverelationship.com

 
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