1. Your strength. There's a reason males are considered the stronger of the two genders. A man is often expected to provide protection, support and physical power. He's expected to work hard, sweat, do the heavy lifting and to stick to it when times get tough. Play to these masculine strengths.
2. Your presence. Your wife's willingness to have sex is deeply dependent upon this. If you are 100 percent present when you are with her (even if your time together is limited), she will be satisfied. On a side note, I believe that 100 percent of your sexual energy should be focused within the relationship. Spending any percentage of it elsewhere leads down the slippery slope to breaking your partner's trust.
3. Your confidence. Because women are by nature security-seeking creatures, a man's confidence can be a major turn-on. When a man approaches a woman with confidence, she experiences the same chemical reaction in her brain (a release of both dopamine and norepinephrine) that a man experiences when a woman lifts up her shirt and shows him her breasts. And by "confidence," I don't mean "machismo." I'm referring to the type of man who knows who he is (and who he isn't). At the other end of the spectrum, men who are anxious, passive and eager to please exude anything but confidence. Looking for a surefire way to kill the passion in your marriage? Become the passive, conflict-avoiding, eager-to-please nice guy who only wants to make his wife "happy." The Secret, Most Powerful Aphrodisiac
4. Your integrity. The ability to consistently act with integrity is crucial in maintaining a deep sexual bond with your wife. This means that you always tell the truth, keep your word, follow through and have good boundaries.
Bonus point: 5. Have a plan. This isn't about controlling a woman; it's about giving her a choice. One of the worst things you can do is come home in the evening and ask, "What do you want to do tonight?" Instead, walk in the door and say, "Be dressed and ready to go to dinner by 7." Give her the option of either following your lead or proposing an alternative. Don't leave everything up to her. This same principle applies to the bedroom as well. As a man, when you are present and share your mind, heart, humor, intellect, imagination, words, strength and even your dark side with your wife, you open her up to the fullness of your being. As she joins you in this state of openness, and opens herself up to you, she will take you places you can't take yourself.
To really make this advice work, you need to follow these action steps to complete today's challenge.
Right now, I want you to:
When you see your wife, approach her confidently and give her a good 10-second kiss. No groping or fondling—just kiss her. Extra tip: If she has on pants with front pockets, slip two fingers in the top of each pocket to secure her body to yours.
Within 7 days I want you to:
Practice being 100 percent present every time you're with her. No checking messages, texts, emails, etc. Be with her. Listen. Talk. Look her in the eyes.
By the end of the challenge I want you to:
Have a plan and take charge of the entire evening. Tell her when to be ready to go. Hold every door for her. Take the lead throughout the evening. Don't wait for her to initiate conversation. Speak up. Lead her to the dance floor. Lead her to the bedroom. Be present. Be confident. I'm willing to bet the evening will turn out well for both of you.