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Why Are Boundaries Important?

By Dr. Jackie Black. Posted on Sep 14th 2010.

If your life is filled with discord and you don’t feel that others respect you, it's time to set your boundaries.

Each of us experiences our reality in four ways:

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1. Body - what we look like
2. Thinking - how we give meaning to incoming data
3. Feelings - our emotional response
4. Behavior - what we do or don't do

Intact boundaries give measured protection to your body, thinking, feelings and behaviors as you evaluate and assess the words and actions of other people in your life.

You filter your experiences through your cognitive mind and your feelings. Through the use of your boundaries you determine which words and actions you will accept and which you will block when they are unacceptable.

We set boundaries to protect our body, thinking, feelings and behavior.

This week give some thought to how well you set and maintain your own boundaries and honor the boundaries of others.

What are your boundaries?

Where do you draw the line?

How do you react when someone sets a boundary on you?

To find out, think of instances in the past few weeks or months when you felt intense emotion in response to something someone did or said to you.

Do you tend to give in?

Do you act against yourself or allow others to do things against your wishes?

Do you tolerate unacceptable conditions?

What did your family teach you about boundaries?

Do you have difficulty saying no or hearing no said to you?

The person who has hurt you says, "I'm sorry," but what does the behavior say to you?