In honor of this Sunday’s episode of Entourage when the subject of hair down there was discussed, via Turtle in an episode called, “Turtle and the Hair”. I’m dusting off this old article… To Trim or Not to Trim.
Every three to four weeks I can be found at a posh Beverly Hills waxing salon with Maria, an aesthetician who attentively plucks my eyebrows and meticulously creates what is referred to by stringent Hollywood standards as, “The Playboy.”
This below-the-belt hot wax torture repeatedly tests my pain threshold and I endure it not necessarily for a potential future “Mr. Right,” but because it gives me complete freedom from Toilet Paper Tinkle Berries*.
Body hair maintenance is part of life. Not that long ago I was confronted by a greasy, short and hairy paparazzi who was stalking Britney Spears outside the above mentioned star-studded waxing salon. Having gone there for many years, I felt very protective of my turf. As I walked out the big glass front door I stood toe-to-toe with hairy paparazzi guy among the utter chaos that he and the 30 or so other long lens predators were creating on city streets. He rudely referenced to “whatever you women do to your hair thing-a-ma-bobs in there.” Clearly he is a man who spends way too much time stalking celebrities and not enough on his own nose hair which was long, black and visible, ARGH! I would hate to see the rest of his body. YUCK!
The other night (fresh from my own recent hair removal and completely Toilet Paper Tinkle Berry free), I met a young handsome man with whom I had an instant connection. As we casually shot the breeze, surprisingly the topic of below-the-belt-hair “trimming” came up.
Digging deeper into the conversation, I was compelled to ask what exactly is an actively dating guy living in LA’s take on below-the-belt-hair care and does he and his single friends talk over beers and Monday night football about the best maintenance methods to keep their coif tastefully groomed for their next hot encounter?
As I flashed back on my furry paparazzi run-in and his disrespectful comment on a “women’s thing-a-ma-bobs,” I wondered just how far does this double standard between men vs. women go when it comes to below-the-belt-hair sprucing?
To trim or not to trim, who does and who doesn’t?
Josh (not his real name) agreed to meet me the next night and give me the inside scoop on men’s thoughts about the personal trimming topic and when we met over drinks this is what I found out (these are his words):
1. When I realized that having long hair down there could be turn off to my date I asked my guy friends what to do and the best cutting method, shears, trimmers or scissors?
2. For some guys it just doesn’t connect or cross the radar if we should or shouldn’t groom, but we do talk about girls’ grooming habits.
3. For most guys, I suppose they think that a girl should be well-groomed and trimmed but we don’t necessarily think that we should consider it too.
4. If a guy trims, most of us will use a trimmer - it's the weapon of choice. It won’t cut you; nothing sharp. Scissors are out of the question!
5. And in my experience, if you are from a small town or city, the topic between men on trimming just doesn’t get discussed.
6. It comes to respect. If I expect her to be well-groomed, then I should reciprocate.
As I interviewed Josh, I asked him if he thought most of the men in the bar were “trimmers” like him?
He said, “NO, NOT ONE!”
I then noticed the average age of the group and that most of the men wore wedding bands. Josh finished his sentence with “I think men may think that when you are married ‘who cares,’ and it’s just not needed.”
As we left the bar, I asked the happily married local bartender if he trimmed or not? And with no qualms he said:
“YES! I use clippers and a razor, because even though I’m married you never know what will happen night-to-night.”
In the end I think there are lots of trimming variables here. I’m just glad I don’t worry about Toilet Paper Tinkle Berries.
Grooming tips welcome.
*"Toilet Paper Tinkle Berries" is the not-so-adorable name I made up to describe the tiny bits of toilet paper that roll into little white balls and attach themselves to hair - and that's why it's good to wax.