Discussion of how to use of the most important sex organ - The Brain!
Sex is complex. It's personal and it's powerful. While there is a good deal of difference in how we each experience our sexuality, only some of us are satisfied with our sex lives. And many are very dissatisfied. Those who are most dissatisfied seem to enter my office with worries that they are not desirable, or not competent as lovers or somehow that their desires or sexual activities are not appropriate. Many of them have not considered that there might be a physical issues underlying their experiences or more commonly, that the root of the dissatisfaction originates in their thoughts and beliefs rather than in their bodies.
Everything from our beliefs about sex and ourselves, to our ability to empathize and respond to social or physical cues from others, to our ability to know what we want, ask for it, explore, play and share, drives great sex. And these things originate in our brain, not our loins. So, if your sex life is suffering, don't spend too much time on lingerie, tantric sex courses, and cinnamon lube (even though these things can be compelling as well) check your thoughts and beliefs. Are you too critical of yourself or your partner outside the bedroom? Are you playful, open and sharing in the rest of your contact with your partner? Can you read what he or she is feeling or wants most of the time? Can you make space for those wants? Can you have an open dialogue about what you want in areas other than the bedroom? A bit of time spent in these areas can go a long way to creating euphoria.