By now you might've heard what's been called "the douchiest phone message in history" from holytaco.com [1]. But if not, please drag all impressionable youngsters into the room with you and have a listen to learn how never to leave a voicemail [2] for a hot chick who gave you her number at the bar.

Dmitri is calling Olga in a painfully misguided attempt to woo [3] her. Some choice bits:

"I am single, I have no trouble meeting women, women approach me, six, seven times a day...your friends were very jealous and even if they say they weren't, they were envious of the fact that I approached you."

"You looked very taken aback by my approach and I hope that wasn't timidness. I hope it was just a little bit of shock at being approached so directly, because I don't really date timid women...I want a woman who's very independent and strong. So we'll talk about that."

"You're playing games like on stupid TV shows...it is now 4:30 on Wednesday...but if I do not receive a call from you at 3:00 on Thursday night, you can erase my number. I don't play games like that."

These aren't even the best parts...have a listen and cringe. We hope this is a joke...it's so over-the-top, it hasn't to be, right?