Tristan Taormino's experience watching more than 400 couples get cozy during her career a sex columnist and lecturer led her to question: how do those in non-monogamous relationships actually do it?

All possible incarnations of open marriage [1], polyamory [2] and swinging [3] are explored in Taormino's well-researched book, Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Opening Relationships [4], Cleis Press, which includes historical background, practical advice and real-life testimonials from those living non-monogamously.

Opening Up stresses the importance of self-awareness, communication, honesty, trust and boundaries in open relationships advice that applies to any relationship, really, be it with one or many. Debauchette [5], a non-monogamous blogger made famous via New York magazine and a Diane Sawyer interview, captured this concept in a recent post:

I don't know many happy monogamous couples, but I don't know many happy polyamorous or open couples either. It just leads me to conclude that relationships aren't easy, that we need to figure out what works for us, individually, that we need plenty of experience to make those determinations.

In addition to exploring how this makes people feel (including an explanation of "compersion," a noun specifically developed on a polyfidelitous [6] commune as the antonym for jealousy, like the kind you might feel watching your partner have sex with someone else), Opening Up goes further into day-to-day practicalities such as sexual health, wills and insurance.

We see why an open relationship contract [7] would come in handy!