My party that Friday night began like every other party: women giggling as I passed around tasty and buzzy things… except for one woman. She stood at a distance and didn't participate. I thought she wasn't interested, so I didn't push it by trying to engage her in the fun. After everyone had ordered her products, this woman came back and said she didn't really want anything. I must have looked puzzled because she went on to explain that she had been served with divorce papers that afternoon and had no idea why. I was very young and very new in the business, so I had a tendency to treat all situations with humor. I simply said, "Well, are you ever going to have sex again?" She smiled and said, "I imagine so." So I sent her home with a few of our basic products — a lubricant, a small vibrator, an edible lotion, and a simple game.
At 7 A.M. the next morning I got a phone call from the woman. She asked me where I lived. "My husband wants to talk to you," she said. I wasn't sure how to react. Was he going to chew me out? Was he going to tell me to mind my own business or just shoot me? Well, I'm pretty brave, so I have her directions and they both arrived by 8 A.M. I stepped outside in my pajamas as she stepped out of the car. To my amazement, this woman looked like a completely different person. She bounced over to me with a big ol' smile, and I bravely asked her if she was there to buy more products. After nodding, she motioned for her husband to get out of the car. Just as I turned around to face him, I looked and saw that he had papers in his hand — their divorce papers. He smiled at me and tore them up right there in my driveway.
That moment excited me, changed me, and matured me. In fact, it changed everything. I realized that by opening lines of communication and by knowing how to encourage intimacy, the romance and passion in virtually any relationship can be rekindled. The moral of the story is that it is never to late to bring sexual pleasure and love into your relationship — even if it seems as though it is.
That's a story I heard from Trudy, one of our full-time Passion Consultants from a small town in Tennessee. In fact, that story has practically become a classic here at Passion Parties International — it expresses so well the work we do and the extraordinary effect it can have.
I've been at Passion Parties for almost a decade now, happily helping this wonderful company reach out to women across the United States and Canada, empowering us all to have better sex, a better sense of our own bodies, and, most important, better relationships. My time at Passion Parties has taught me that we women have at least one thing in common: Whether we are seeking a new relationship, are involved short-term or long-term, or are happily flying solo, we've all got sexual needs. And, at least once in a while, we wonder if there's something more we can do to satisfy ourselves and our partners or even to take it up a notch.
Like the woman whose life changed at Trudy's party, you may have long since given up on finding sexual satisfaction. Or you may feel that things are working fine for you — but you have the nagging feeling that they could still be better. Maybe you've got a terrific sex life but are looking for a few new ideas for how to spice it up. Perhaps you're in a long-term relationship and would like some fresh inspiration. Maybe you've been dating for a while and want some new tips on how to please yourself and your partner. Perhaps you are just starting to date — or maybe you're just getting back out there. No matter who you are or what your sex life is like, I promise you that we've got a product, a tip, or a technique that will bring something extra into your bedroom. From the basics to the "advanced course" and beyond, Passion Parties can help you explore your sexual needs and find the joy and satisfaction you deserve.
For those of you who've never heard of Passion Parties, let me tell you a little bit about who we are and what we do. We've been in business for more than a decade, distributing products that help women achieve sexual pleasure. We use the business model first made popular by such firms as Tupperware and Mary Kay in which a network of women reaches out to their friends and neighbors, selling our products and spreading our message through in-home presentations.
Our team of tens of thousands of Passion Consultants operates in every region of the United States and Canada — in rural areas, in towns, big cities, and suburbs; among women age eighteen to eighty; for women who are single, married, divorced, separated, or widowed. We reach every type of woman, because let's face it, all of us are looking to enjoy our bodies, our partners, and ourselves.
I've come to realize that the Passion Consultant is a very special person, because it all starts with her. She gets the word out to her friends and neighbors, organizing Passion Parties for ten to fifteen women at a time — maybe friends, maybe strangers, maybe some of both. At these in-home parties, she introduces her guests to our wide range of products: everything from sensual body products and personal lubricants to playful edibles, vibrators and sex toys. Many of us are a bit uncomfortable with these products at first — after all, our mothers probably never took us aside and showed us how to operate our first vibrator! But our Passion Consultants make it easy to learn more about what these items are and how they can enhance your sex life. Maybe when the evening starts, some of the guests are a little nervous, but by the end of the evening, it's like being at the ultimate "girl's night in" — everyone is laughing, joking, and sharing stories. Most important, everyone is looking forward to getting home and trying out all the new things she's bought! Whether it's Pure Satisfaction UniSEX Enhancement Gel (a clitoral stimulant), White Chocolate Passion Pudding (an edible product made for enhancing foreplay and oral sex), or your first-time Bullet vibrator, you know it's going to add something special to your sex life.
Contact us at www.passionparties.com [1] if you’d like to attend a Passion Party. We're growing all the time, and we've probably got something going on right in your neighborhood. And if you think you'd like to become a Passion Consultant, contact us at the same Web address, and we'll be glad to have you: Our consultants are the foundation of our business, and we couldn't do without them. Although earnings vary with effort, we are proud of our Passion Consultants, from the ones who work for “top up money” of $1,000 a month to the Passion Parties "Million Dollar Club" women who net an income in the high six figures, we empower them all, from the bedroom to the bank. In fact, that empowerment is right at the heart of our mission statement:
"To share the Passion Parties opportunity so that any woman can experience the prosperity of owning her own business; to share the products that will enhance any woman’s relationship; and to share the philosophy of women helping women"
If you'd like to be a part of the Passion Parties experience, we'll welcome you with open arms. But you can also treat this book as your own personal Passion Party — a chance to find out about all the wonderful products we offer, to learn or review "Sex 101," and to hear about some great new ideas that can bring a whole new level of magic into your bedroom. (Hey, why stop there? Why not make some magic in your living room, your bathtub, and — if you've got a nice, high fence — your backyard!)
I can't wait to share with you the Passion Parties secrets that can make your relationship red hot. But before we get started, I'd like to tell you a little bit about myself. When I tell people what I do, I must admit that I get a lot of surprised looks. When people who've never met me invite me to speak or arrange and interview, they usually expect a Playboy Bunny, some twenty-year-old sex kitten in a size-four negligee. Imagine their surprise when I show up — a full-figured businesswoman proudly in her sixties, with photos of my grandchildren in my wallet (and yes, some lacy silken lingerie beneath my black suit!). I’ve been married to the same wonderful man since I was seventeen — but I'm here to tell you, ladies, we still have great sex. That's how I know that all those Hollywood images are simply not true. You don't need to look like Angelina Jolie or Halle Berry to have a great sex life — and your partner doesn't need to look like George Clooney, either. The two of you can bring each other all kinds of ecstasy, from your first date to your fiftieth anniversary, but you do have to work at it.
Of course, you have to play at it. Relationships may be a lot of work, but never forget: Sex itself is a lot of fun! At least, it can be — that's what Passion Parties, and this book, are all about.
So how did a mother of two, a grandmother, and a housewife married to her high school sweetheart become the CEO of the world's largest sensual party planning company? Perhaps it all began on the day I was born — February 14th, Valentine’s Day. Or it might have been on an ordinary winter day in 1959. I was an outgoing fourteen-year-old just two weeks shy of my fifteenth birthday, living in Portsmouth, Virginia, with my widowed mother and younger sister. In those days, my mother was dating the produce manager of a local grocery store. He was a large, heavyset German man whose biggest claim to fame in my mind was that he managed a team of very cute male produce clerks. The cutest one was Gerald, an Italian boy with curly black hair. Whenever I shopped at the store, I would hang around the tomatoes, hoping to catch the eye of my Italian fantasy.
One day, it happened. Out of the blue, Gerald rang me up and asked if I was busy. I was, but I quickly threw those plans out the window and told him I was free. Then he said the words that no girl wants to hear from her first crush: “I have this friend who would like to go out with you Saturday night.”
My heart sank, but as calmly as I could, I asked, “Who is it?”
“My friend Ollie,” he replied.
I had seen Ollie, a handsome Marine, because I used to baby-sit for some of his neighbors. I always thought he looked very cute in his dress blues, but he was a little shy, and I had never thought of dating him. Well, it was a bit awkward at first, but by the end of the evening, the sparks were flying, and soon we were going out on a regular basis. We were married five months before my eighteenth birthday and three months from his twenty-first. How young we were — but so much in love!
Looking back on it, it’s a wonder we ever figured out how to make each other so happy. Remember, this was the fifties, and I was just a teenager. The only sex education I ever got was from my mother, on my wedding night. “Now, Pat,” she told me, her face flushed with embarrassment, “you know there’s going to be stuff he’ll expect.”
That was it. Like most girls back then, that was all the information anyone saw fit to give me. I know my mom was doing the best she could, but come on — “stuff he’ll expect”? How sad is that? (And my mother, mind you, was eventually married four times!) But that’s what a lot of girls were told. They guy’s sexual satisfaction was all that mattered. If you were lucky enough to enjoy any of the sexual encounter, more power to you — but you sure weren’t going to get much help.
Yes, it was an Ozzie and Harriet world when I was growing up. Ozzie worked, while Harriet stayed home and kept house. The man was responsible for bringing home the bacon and for making sure his sexual needs were fulfilled. If he wanted to, and if he knew how, maybe his wife would get some sexual pleasure, too, but if he couldn’t or didn’t want to provide that little service, then she was flat out of luck.
Happily, things have changed a whole lot since then. We’ve evolved, and I’m happy to say that I’ve evolved, too. As a woman who started dating in the fifties and then lived through the sixties, seventies, and beyond, I’ve seen women facing a whole range of expectations and choices. As the times changed, I changed with them, which has put me in a terrific position to understand the many different hopes, fears, and dreams that women of all ages and backgrounds bring to our parties.
These days, of course, women work both inside and outside the home. And we don’t just share in the financial responsibilities of our households. We expect to share in the sexual pleasure, too. After all, fair is fair, whether we’re talking about the bank account or the bedroom. Like our husbands, we bring home the bucks — and, like them, we want to enjoy all the pleasures sex has to offer.
So if we’re being fair, we can no longer expect the man to take full responsibility for our sexual experience. It’s up to us to know what makes us happy, what turns us on (and off), what sounds like an adventure we might want to try or a fantasy we might like to explore. It’s up to us to initiate sex once in awhile, to make it clear that we are not passive maidens submitting to our partners, but active and vital women with our own sexual needs and desires.
When I figured this out, I came up with a notion that has served Passion Parties well — the concept of the Passion Diva. As I see it, every woman has one, that lusty, sexy, sparkling creature who lives inside us and is just waiting to be let out. Your Passion Diva knows all about the kind of sex that will make your toes curl and your breath come more quickly. She knows what will get you tingling with anticipation and what will leave you glowing with pleasure. She’s the expert on which parts of your body like to be caressed and kissed, when you like it sweet and gentle, and when you’re looking for fiery and intense. Plus, she knows all sorts of things that will turn your man on and leave him panting with desire — and more than happy to satisfy you.
You may be best friends with your Passion Diva already — or you may not even have realized that she was there. Either way, she is what Passion Parties are all about. By the time you’re through with this book, you and your Passion Diva will be on the best of terms — and you’ll both know a whole lot more things you can do to fire up the passion between you and your partner.
Meanwhile, though let’s get back to me and Ollie. Like many young couples, we began our marriage by learning about each other sexually. Neither one of us had gotten all that much help in knowing what to expect, but we always loved each other, liked each other, and respected each other, and that went a long way towards helping us figure out the sexual part of things. Right from the beginning, I looked forward to waking up with Ollie each morning. I felt that I belonged with him— that when I was with him, I was home. I still love to go to sleep besides him and to wake up to his touch. But as with any marriage, between that first date and our forty-fifth anniversary last September came a whole set of unexpected challenges.
For one thing, we had children. Now I love my children dearly, and I wouldn’t trade a minute of that time they lived in my home—but as any mother knows, kids are not exactly an aphrodisiac. Figuring out how to keep the passion going, how to find the energy for sex and intimacy in the midst of midnight feedings and dirty diapers and soothing a sick child, could be pretty daunting at times. (If you want to know more about my secrets for keeping the intimacy alive after the kids come along, check out Chapter 5 on RomantaTherapy and learn how to become your own Romanta Therapist.) but I’m here to tell you from my own experience: You can keep the romance alive if you know what to do and stay committed to doing it.
Then, too, we both had demanding jobs— Ollie, right from the first; me, after the kids got a bit bigger. Suddenly, it seemed we didn’t even have time for a five-minute conversation, let alone for a luxurious evening of foreplay and everything that follows. He was tired, I was tired, and every time we got to where we maybe could have found a little energy, it seemed like one of the kids needed help with his homework or a Band-Aid for her skinned knee or maybe a quiet talk about her dating life. For both Ollie and me, learning how to slow down long enough to make time for each other — the kind of intimate time that includes talking, sharing, and cuddling as well as fantastic sex — has been a lifelong challenge. You can keep alive the magic in the midst of the madness, but it definitely takes work. (You’ll read more about my suggestions for building relationships in Chapter 1 and 2.)
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from my forty-five-year marriage is that soul mates are made, not born. Sure, Ollie and I fell in love early on — and maybe, you, too, have a guy who set your heart beating faster from the moment you laid eyes on him. But I know lots of happy couples who grew into intimacy with one another, who found their sexual heat as they got to know each other in more gradual ways. And by the time you’ve reached your first-year anniversary, take it from me: It doesn’t matter how you started. You’ve still got to work to keep the magic alive, to stay present to each other, to share your hopes and dreams and daily concerns so that you remain friends and companions in the best sense of those words.
Sex and passion are a big part of that sharing and intimacy, and I feel proud to be part of a company that enhances those experiences for women and their partners. But Passion Parties isn’t just about techniques and products — it’s also about relationships, communication, and freeing your Passion Diva. In fact, it’s what your Passion Diva knows that forms the foundation of the company’s philosophy — principles that are the basis of everything you’ll read in this book:
Every Passion Diva Knows That:
Welcome to the beginning of your next passionate journey! But before we continue, I’d like to share with you one more favorite story, this one from Mindy, a part-time Passion Consultant who’s also an emergency-room nurse in Washington state.
I decided to give my husband a romantic weekend getaway for his birthday, so I bought tickets to Hawaii and got a hotel right on the beach. I didn’t plan for us to spend much time outside, however, and packed the “Passion Parties Lover’s Coupon Booklet,” the “52 Weeks of Romance” game, some Dirty Dice, and my Body Finger Paints, along with a couple of toys and my favorite lingerie. Now, I knew I shouldn’t put these things in my carry-on luggage because I had heard that the X-ray machine would pick them up, and I wasn’t exactly crazy about the idea of the security personnel viewing our intimate secrets. So being the savvy person that I am, I packed all our sexy treats in my checked luggage. Turns out I wasn’t really all that savvy, however, because believe it or not, I had never heard about random inspections. When we got to the hotel, I opened my bag. Right on top was a typewritten note that said: This bag has gone through Random Inspection.
Was I mortified! I started to blush beet red — until I saw the handwritten note underneath. There, in tiny blue letters, someone had written, Let the games begin.
I think that says it all, don’t you? So come on, ladies! Let the games begin!
Intrigued? Want more? Check out The Passion Parties Guide to Great Sex [2]!