While you can glean advice from studies about relationships, it’s not one-size-fits-all, says Sherry Amatenstein, a marriage therapist and author of The Complete Marriage Counselor: Relationship-Saving Advice from America's Top 50+ Couples Therapists. However, if a bit of research resonates with you, there are commonsense ways you can apply the message.
POWER OF ATTRACTION
YourTango, along with Glo.com and Chemistry.com, conducted a massive survey of more than 20,000 men and women on one simple, yet essential, topic: the power of attraction. We found that even if a couple's heat index waxes and wanes over time, 90 percent believe it can be rekindled long-term. And as for that age-old stigma about complacency in our comfortable relationships? Guys cited "lack of romantic love" as the single greatest turn-off as they age. So, it's more important than we all thought.
YourTango teamed up with Glo.com and Chemistry.com and surveyed 20, 000 people to determine the answers to all these burning questions. What we found? Naturally, "sexual chemistry" and "smile" ranked higher when a man initially meets a woman but as time marches on and fleshy excitement simmers, "kindess" and "sense of humor" ranked in the top spots.
Traditional advice suggests "spicing things up" with toys or bedroom games, but it's hard to imagine finding the enthusiasm to browse at a sex store when simply thinking about doing the deed exhausts you. Sexuality coach Pamela Madsen suggests an unusual approach: reading.
Are women having orgasms in bed? Men seem to think so. According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 85 percent of men believe their partner climaxed during their most recent love-making session. If that's the case, women everywhere deserve a shot at an Oscars for their in-bed acting abilities. Because, according to the very same NSSHB study cited above, only 64 percent of women reported reaching orgasm during their most recent sexual event—which means that the other 21 percent are most likely faking it. What's more, an online survey over at SkinnyScoop.com reveals that a whopping 80 percent of women would prefer a massage to sex with their partner. This doesn't seem all that shocking to me. On most days, I'd prefer a box of Cheez-its to another round of unsatisfying sex.
Does living with your husband seem more and more like crashing with a roommate than with a spouse? Does it feel like years since you've had some soul-inspiring, body-exploding sexual intimacy in your marriage? When you've been together for a while, it's easy to lose the spark—especially for women. Increasing female libido in marriage can seem like a daunting task. But never fear—sexual arousal is right around the corner. These five tips will help you locate and increase that elusive female libido, so you and your man can succeed in bringing the sexy back into your marriage.