Asking a current partner to change the rules of the relationship can be scary. If you love your partner and want to stay in a relationship with him, shaking things up can feel incredibly fragile and remind you of what you stand to lose.
A few weeks ago I stumbled across this totally by accident. But the more I read about the subject, the more interested I became in it. It has been an eye opening experience, so much so that I am starting to feel like I finally found something that makes sense to me.
In comparison, the word "polyamory" was searched on Google 110,000 times worldwide. That's a whopping .030% looking for polygamous information online in one month. Are these stats an indicator of what kinds of relationships people are looking for? Or are they just numbers?
My boyfriend made it clear when we began dating that he was into having a semi-monogamous relationship — meaning that emotionally he would only want to commit to one person but physically he would want to have affairs, but he and I would plan and make terms and conditions for these escapades.
My wife and I tried swinging several years ago. It was exciting and fun to plan dates and it brought up surprising aspects of our sexuality. It also brought up some powerful emotions, which we were able to work through, although after some of the couples we were dating dropped us, the experience hit my wife really hard and we stopped not only swinging, but having sex altogether.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the basic philosophical difference between people who think in terms of “either/or” and those who think in terms of “both/and”. The latter is the (albeit in its most simplistic form) basis of Tantric philosophy. In a non-dual world view such as Tantra, either/or doesn’t usually make sense. Either/or supports a belief that one must choose between two things; as if the world were not infinitely abundant with enough room for “both”.
I have been working as a Tantrika, or 'Sacred Sexual Healer' for over 5 years now. These blogs are stories of the life events that brought me into this work, as well as my intimate experiences, challenges and joys within the wold of Tantra. Enjoy!