![5 Tips To Help You Find Your Ideal Match [EXPERT]](http://images.tangomag.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/node-full/image_blog/loove.jpg "5 Tips To Help You Find Your Ideal Match [EXPERT]")
Many sites, even those using fancy algorithms to match you with your soul mate can help you meet and date dozens of people, if that's all you want. They can even land you a warm body you may believe is your life partner but chances are, you still won't find the right person for you.
![The Cookie Mate—Make Him A Reality! [EXPERT]](http://images.tangomag.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/node-full/images/christmas_cookie.jpg "The Cookie Mate—Make Him A Reality! [EXPERT]")
Many have their own personal laundry list of qualities for the "ideal mate." Some of the items on the laundry list might include: loyal, kind, attractive, generous or successful. The technical term for meeting our laundry list is called the self-ideal-perception consistency. But what happens when our date does not meet all of the requirements on our laundry list? Can we change him to meet our expectations? Does he meet enough of our laundry list to qualify to be a cookie mate?
So, behold. This is the male ideal: We have ideas "in American culture about what a 'real man' is and does. You know: strong, competitive, dominant, wealthy, good at fixing machinery, lots of sexual partners, enjoys sports... Guys? Listen up. The world is telling you to turn yourself into a unicorn and start shitting diamonds... You will never, ever be man enough. So stop giving a damn."
I’m old enough to know better, definitely smart of enough to know better but, I did it just the same. What? Shortly after my divorce I made a list of all the qualities my “perfect” man would have. Why did I do it? Because, it is something us women do regardless of how old or how smart we are. Top Ten Places to Meet Mr. Right My perfect man…
After she had dating him for four months, freelance writer Lindsay Hitchcock ("Orlando's Carrie Bradshaw") thought she had found the perfect man. He was "10 years older, mature, confident, and established (and tall!)." However, Hitchcock began to get somewhat suspicious when a "mystery blonde" kept texting and calling this "perfect" man during dates. It wasn't long before the suspicions took over; Hitchcock went through his phone and called her...
I should be in heaven, right? But I'm not. Because as perfect as he is, John just doesn't make me want to rip my clothes off. And I don't know why. After the jump, the best guess as to why.
Like most women on the planet, I dreamed that I would one day find the perfect man. Someone who would not mind me occasionally bringing home a stray dog or cat. A man who could watch Monty Python's Holy Grail repeatedly and would still have a beverage shoot out his nose when the Frenchman says, "I fart in your general direction." And, most importantly, I longed for a man who could spend many a Sunday afternoon lying on the couch watching football with me. Honestly, I thought that the last requirement on my list would be the easiest to fulfill. Well, as luck would have it, I did find my dream guy. I found him in his indigenous environment: the art museum. He was displaying his original artwork, oil paintings of various people and things. I thought he was brilliant and talented. He swept me off my feet from the moment I met him. He was kind, funny, intelligent—almost everything I wanted in a man. But, sadly, he didn't care so much for watching large men in spandex beat the crap out of each other for possession of a ball. I was devastated. How could someone so perfect be so horribly flawed? He couldn't relate to such barbaric activity of testosterone and sweat.
To settle or not to settle -- it's the single girl question of the year. Over at The Frisky, blogger Natalie Krinsky ponders the question: "When does compromise and understanding turn into settling?" Earlier this year, a writer for The Atlantic Monthly made waves when she urged women to marry and procreate with 'Mr. Good-Enough' instead of holding out for something better. In a piece titled "Marry Him!," Lori Gottlieb argued in favor of settling from a practicality point-of-view: rather than delaying marriage and childbearing for a 'Mr. Perfect' (who may or may not arrive atop a white horse), marry someone who you can see being a good -- if not completely ideal -- marriage partner.
