OK kids, first things first. Size does not matter to every woman. Plenty of women are satisfied good and plenty and even preferably with some skillfull fingers and well-played tongues and a good battery-operated assistant. That being said, it does matter to some women and it certainly seems to matter to lots of guys who want to know if they measure up or not (as our many other articles on the topic might indicate). But how can a woman (or man) tell if a man will measure up (before the clothes are off, that is)? Are there certain ways a person can know for sure just by looking? We don't think there are definite 100% board-certified correct answers to these questions, but we do have some ideas of where a person may want to look, if this is a topic of importance to him or her.
Condom etiquette is something that single women don't discuss nearly enough. We need some open dialogue to take some of the awkwardness and confusion out of these situations. So, we have for you our eight condom commandments. No matter what your views are about casual sex, dating, or relationships, it's important to know where you stand on condoms before the moment "arises."
All teenage boys want to get laid: there are books that gaily depict their wanton need, as well as an entire genre of movies devoted to the subject. It seems that TLC decided to jump on the bandwagon with "650-Pound Virgin"—the story of David Smith, a (once) 650-pound outcast—that premiered on Sunday night. It was a shocking piece of television, but not for the reason you might think.
- The proper way to measure a penis is on the top side from the tip down to the pubic bone at the base. Supposedly you can compare you lover's penis to a dollar bill if you don't want to whip out a measuring tape during sex.* Personally, I think it would be just as hard to explain what you were doing. - You know you shouldn't care, but since you probably do, the average erect penis is a little more than 5 inches long and 1 1/2 inches in diameter. Only 15% of men are over 7 inches, and only 3% are over 8 inches. The smallest recorded human penis was 5/8 of an inch; the largest was 13.5 inches. (A blue whale's penis, however, is almost 10 feet long and a foot in diameter.) - Penis size is not a medical concern unless the penis is shorter than 1 1/2 inches when flaccid and 3 inches when erect. There are surgical remedies, but the recovery is painful.
Susan Crain Bakos is a research sexologist, sex journalist and author. Here, she tells us how to have an orgasm while giving a guy oral sex -- a tip from her book "The New Tantra." If you're in a relationship, you probably have quid pro quo sex: You arouse him with some oral sex, he returns so you can orgasm, you shift to intercourse for his peak and finish with The Cuddle for your benefit. Give your sex life a jolt with fellatio that will rock both of your worlds (really!). It's time modern women got down on our knees for something other than a yoga class -- to really worship his penis.
A new study published in the online edition of Fertility and Sterility has concluded that half of men taking SSRIs could have damaged sperm and compromised fertility. The study, conducted by the New York Presbyterian Hospital and Weill Cornell Medical Center, followed 35 healthy male volunteers who took paroxetine (Paxil) for five weeks. At the end of the five weeks, sperm samples were taken from the men and examined to determine whether there were any missing pieces of genetic code in the sperm DNA. Their findings? That the percentage of men with abnormal DNA fragmentation jumped from less than 10% at the beginning of the study to 50% afterward.
On June 23, 1993, John Wayne Bobbitt returned home drunk after a night of partying and allegedly raped his wife, Lorena. After he fell asleep, Lorena cut off more than half his penis, drove away from their apartment, and threw the severed penis out her car window and into a field. Soon after, realizing the severity of the situation, Lorena pulled her car over and called 911. After an exhaustive search, the penis was located, packed in ice, and — over the course of nine and a half hours — reattached to John. The incident, which is still very much a part of our national consciousness, led to countless jokes on late-night TV, a pornographic movie career for John, and two very high profile trials. Last Friday, the two met on The Insider for a strange and heated reunion mediated by Lara Spencer.
If there's one thing I've learned writing these columns, it's that you ladies have penis on the brain. Which is why I'm going to admit that my penis is so huge, so gargantuan, that when I get excited, I barely have enough skin with which to whistle. Seriously. It's like three grapefruits in a gym sock. Trash bags are my preferred prophylactic. I ain't bragging or nothin'. Does size really matter? How do you know your vagina isn't all floppy? I knew a dude once who described sleeping with a woman as "driving a hatchback through the Lincoln Tunnel." I am convinced y'all make so much of a fuss about size as a passive-aggressive way to get back at dudes who you perceive as judging you solely by your boobs, waist, and butt. But when it comes to sex, good sex, bite-mark-on-the-shoulder sex, we are the sum of our physical, and emotional, parts. Otherwise, you're not having sex. You're just slapping bits.
Apparently, the contraption known as the Andropenis (*cackle*) actually does what it claims—add length to a penis. Italian urologist Paolo Gontero recruited 15 men who willingly strapped on the plastic ring contraption for four to nine hours a day (!!!!!) for six months and all recorded about a half inch increase in the length of their erections and a .9 inches when the penis was flaccid. The results will be published in the March issue of the British Journal of Urology. As it turns out the idea of stretching the penile skin using traction, works just as well below the belt as it does with the gold-ringed necks off the Giraffe women of the Paduang tribe in Burma.
Penis fractures do in fact happen. While it's true the penis has no bones, it's actually the spongy areas on both sides that get injured. However, in order to get even anywhere close to doing this, the penis has to be bent pretty severely to one side. It's very important for a man to seek medical attention promptly if he finds himself with a fractured penis. During surgery, doctors stitch up torn areas and make sure the urethra isn't damaged.
Those with a penis who made it to the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo were in for a tight, lubed up treat. The Real Touch Interactive sex device. This new football-sized contraption works by strapping it on, plugging into your computer, and pressing "play" to the 30-minute porn that comes with the device. The action corresponds with motion cues sent over a U.S.B. from your computer. The Real Touch electronically simulates the mouth, vagina and anus of the porn star on your screen. Athough it isn't on the market yet, it's tentatively priced at $150, with one 30-minute video, some lube and free shipping.