A distraught 21-year-old respectful and responsible young Indian woman asks whether it is wrong to go ahead and marry the man she loves even though her parents object. Nita has discussed this with them and their only objection is that this otherwise outstanding young man comes from a different religious background than she does.
FROM OUR EXPERTS
By Karen Steele
Finding a church can be a time-consuming and stressful experience. It takes a great amount of patience. On average, you can only visit one, or maybe two churches a week, so the search to find a church can drag out over the course of weeks or several months. Longer, even. Years. So, how do you deal as a couple?
Last month I wrote an article about Christian dating from a man's perspective. I interviewed several single guys in Los Angeles and New York, ranging in age from 28 to 40. I asked how they felt about dating within their church community and their answers were rather surprising. Most had tried it, yet were left feeling disillusioned in the process. As a result, they had chosen to search for love some place else. Over the past month, I've received hundreds of comments from readers who related to the article and had insightful perspectives to add to the conversation. It became clear that there was more to say on this topic. Much more.
No controversy in religion is more laden with raw emotion than the argument as to whether sexual activity is, or is not, a necessary ingredient to spiritual expression. Down through the ages, as this sometimes-bitter dispute has raged, some of the most ruthless crimes have been and are still being committed by sex-negative patriarchal religious authorities.
Brains: How intelligent do you want your partner to be? Do you want someone with whom you can have intellectually stimulating conversations, or do you feel threatened by someone who seems to “know it all”? Status: Is it important that you be from the same social circle? If you lead a life of dinner parties and theater, and your partner has never ventured beyond the local cineplex, you may find that your interests are just too divergent to find common ground.
Religion might offer scores of personal benefits, but it looks like a great sex life isn't one of them. According to psychologist Darrel Ray from the University of Kansas, religious people suffer intense guilt during and after intercourse. Those devoted to their religion experienced regret after climaxing. Atheists and agnostics, on the other hand, boasted satisfying sex lives.
This guest article from Psych Central was written by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. “People try to minimize the differences when they’re in love,” says Joel Crohn, Ph.D., author of Mixed Matches: How to Create Successful Interracial, Interethnic and Interfaith Relationships. But dismissing the differences can be detrimental to a couple in the future. If you’re part of an interfaith relationship, you have an extra layer of diversity to deal with.
In any other sense of the word, I wouldn't tolerate using someone or being used. I won't date someone for his social status, befriend someone for the simple goal of getting ahead professionally, and I most certainly wouldn't sleep with an older man in exchange for being taken care of. But here I was sleeping with people because they were there, because my body had an urge, one that I clearly didn't feel the need to examine.
According to SmartMarriages, about 70 percent of couples get married in a church. Yet, how did marriage and religion become so closely intertwined? Despite what you may think, marriage didn't start off as a $30,000 religious ceremony. If the Bible is to be believed, the first marriage took place without a $10,000 dollar Vera Wang dress. The bride and the groom were in the nude and consummated their union by hanging out with a snake (not a double entendre). After being kicked out from the Garden of Eden, Adam's descendants had complicated marital relationships often involving more than one wife and several concubines (I'm looking at you King Solomon).