Many of you are sending your kids off to college soon, and maybe for the first time. I've been there, twice. And now my daughter lives overseas! Most of the time I'm okay with it... you get used to it, you know? But sometimes when she sends me little notes, or we chat on Skype, I miss her again.
PARENTING TEENS, MENTAL HEALTH
No, it's not a typo. It's the truth. Kids don't listen because we've trained them not to. Keep reading and you'll see that we parents have created the monster (and there's still time to tame it). See if any of the following examples sound familiar.
Raising children is considered one of the hardest jobs. But, to make things a little easier, follow these 4 steps in order to raise your kids right.
You never know what you might say in the heat of the moment. Use the do-over method to work through conflicts with your kids after an argument.
Some helpful tips on determining what kinds of "friends" your son or daughter has.
You say that your child's happiness and mental health are your top concerns. So what do you do when your child is depressed and hurting? Maybe hurting himself? Of course you get help. There are therapists and counselors, in-patient and out-patient programs specifically for children and adolescents.
Mike Rice, the former coach of Rutgers University's men's basketball team, was fired for what some might describe as his 'tough love' form of coaching. But does this work as a parenting style? Does 'tough love' parenting raise responsible, well-behaved kids or does it simply emotionally cripple them?
“You’ve got to accentuate the positive.” (Song by Harold Arlen & Johnny Mercer, 1944) A positive attitude (or even a less negative attitude) has the potential to change lives. This old song lyric came to mind while reading The Roller-Coaster Years – Raising Your Child Through the Maddening Yet Magical Middle School Years (Gianetti & Sagarese). This is a fascinating book for parents of 10-15-year-olds, and for parents who want a gl
“Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. It’s a phrase worth considering at every brick wall we encounter, and at every disappointment. It’s a reminder that failure is not just acceptable, it’s often essential.” Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
What does raising the bar look like for you? What expectations do you have for your children? Setting high expectations is a good thing, as long as the bar isn't out of reach. Some of the students I teach have trouble with organization and keeping track of assignments. Meetings with parents of middle schoolers and guidance sometimes result in a long list of things the child is supposed to accomplish or master.
We often tell our kids what not to do, when our goal actually is for them to do it differently, or better. Our parents probably did the same with us. We're so used to the negative language. * Don't leave your clothes on the floor. * Don't leave the milk on the counter. * Don't be late coming home from the party.
You know when you're lecturing. You can see it on your child's face. Or in the eye-rolling. Or in the sigh. They know what's coming after the first few sentences, proabably after the first few words. But you keep going because now they're being disrespectful and you're going to make your point if it's the last thing you do! You've been there. I've been there. Maybe you got that look or sigh from your partner, too.
Now, more than ever, our kids need to know the value of a dollar (or peso, Euro, or yen). In this time of what many would call the 'age of entitlement', knowing how to earn, save, and yes, how to spend, their money is crucial. It can be an allowance or a job, but there should be something. If you give an allowance, when and how much is up to you.
What does raising the bar look like for you? What expectations do you have for your children? Setting high expectations is a good thing, as long as the bar isn't out of reach. Some of the students I teach have trouble with organization and keeping track of assignments. Meetings with parents of tweens and guidance sometimes result in a long list of things the child is supposed to accomplish or master.
In a two-parent home, it's common for each of you to have different strengths and challenges when it comes to parenting. For example, one of you may be volatile, while the other is more even-tempered. Or maybe your partner is consistent with discipline and you are the 'soft touch'. This happens all the time! And then, of course, your teen manages to use it to his advantage.
A lot is written about resolutions. My first thought is, DON'T MAKE THEM (but we won't really go there). Most of us set out with lofty, admirable goals, and, quite frankly, without a clear way to accomplish them. Time passes, and with it our good intentions lose momentum. All too often, a feeling of guilt sets in. "How difficult is it to...?" you ask yourself. "I'm a smart person. At work I am more than com