I’ve often found the title “co-parenting” somewhat of a humorous irony, a conundrum. Think about it. Here you have two people that just went through an emotionally hurtful process of divorce and in many instances despise each other. Then it is suggesting that they be calm enough to have a mature conversation about parenting. It’s like the democrats and republicans suddenly compromising to prevent the fiscal cliff after four years of resentment.
It's important to recognize that kids are not reliable reporters and should not be put in the position of "telling on" one parent and witnessing the other parent's major reaction. Parents must communicate directly with each other on the adult level.
Failed time-outs can be a huge source of frustration for parents and teachers, making them question their skills and abilities, and leading to the belief that they need to escalate severity to get consequences to work. This can easily result in stronger and stronger reprimands, lectures, and even yelling, along with more and more drastic and punitive consequences. This is typically a recipe for disaster. There is a much better way. Really understanding why time-outs don’t work is the place to begin.
By Michele Borba, Ed.D., GalTime Parenting Pro No matter what time of year it is, how many toys are in the bin or how often we splurge on the big-ticket products kids think they must have, most parents want to believe we are raising our children to be centered and kind. But are all those times we give in and just buy the American Girl doll or giant Lego set adding up? Are our own spending habits modeling behavior we don't want kids to learn?
by Amy Hoglund, for GalTime.com How parents can work together better, even if they disagree You both want the best for your child. There’s only one problem; actually agreeing on what the “best” is.
There is a quiet despair among so many loving, smart, and deeply caring parents. They so desire to see their children manifest their greatness, to use their intensity well instead of having it go awry, and too often they see their best efforts to inspire respectful and responsible choices slip away to further levels of frustration.
We've all experienced it...the dreaded parenting guilt. You blame yourself whenever you see your child fail or if they are unhappy or struggling. You beat yourself up after you lose your cool when your child misbehaves, you wonder how you have failed your child when they come home with a bad test grade, and you are sure iti is your fault that your child hurt themselves when under your care. There's always something to feel guilty about when you are a parent!
It’s a fact. As your kids grow up, you must grow up, too! If you are the parent of teens, you can’t treat them the way you did when they were eight. As they grow, you have to grow. What worked with a child won’t be effective anymore. The sooner you accept that, the easier adolescence will be on all of you.
You know when you're lecturing. You can see it on your child's face. Or in the eye-rolling. Or in the sigh. But you keep going because now they're being disrespectful and you're going to make your point if it's the last thing you do! He knew what was coming in the first minute, well actually in the first sentence, and he's not interested in hearing any more.
That got your attention, didn't it? The expression "F-bomb" (you know, the "F" word that we write f*#@ in public) is now an official word in the dictionary. It reminds me of a parent who said how upset she would get when her son "dropped the F-bomb". She'd react in such a strong, negative way --which is understandable.
Do you have trouble saying 'no' to your kids? Parents have to set clear expectations, as well as personal boundaries. At a recent "Step In or Step Aside" event, one mom talked about taking her daughter shopping, and going to multiple (more than 5) stores in order to find just the 'right' jacket (style and label). While she was frustrated, and exhausted, it hadn't occurred to her to just say no.
When you're "Yes"-ing your kid to death on your way to drop him off at school because he's going on and on about some stupid dinosaur he saw on TV that sang this song and wore this hat and met this friend, you may be wondering if you're a bad mom. You are, but it's totally OK.
7 Ways To Parent Better Teamwork What responsibilities do you and your spouse take on as parents? It’s important to find your style of parenting with teamwork. How do you help each other? Do you have to ask or is it just expected? It’s important to communicate with one another what your strengths are as parents because it will be easier to divide up tasks.
I often work with parents who report that they are struggling with gaining their childs cooperation and that their child doesn't "listen". Usually, when I ask for a specific example what I find out is that it is the parent who was not listening to the child, but not intentionally. Children, particularly younger ones, communicate through their behavior which is often misunderstood by their parents. Let me explain with an example. One weekend our family was out furniture shopping and my then 3 year old daughter needed to go to the restroom.
As a parent of a teen or tween, what could be better than more moments when your child wants to be close enough for a hug and to sit and talk to you? You’ve been told to expect the eye-rolling and attitude and pulling away when they hit the teen years. Yes, it’s normal for this to happen; however, it doesn’t mean it has to be this way, and that you have to suffer through it.
Anger is a powerful, strong emotion, so we need powerful, strong strategies to help release that anger. As adults, we need to have our anger strategies figured out before we attempt to figure that out with our own children. Then, we must remember that our children's emotions are their emotions, not ours.