From reinforcing bad behavior to sheltering your kids, these are the most common mistakes you don't even realize you're making as a parent.
Welcome back to 7 Secrets To Mastering Communication SECRET #5 – Asking Questions Asking questions is a major key to mastering communication. Yet, so often most conversations are a battle for air-time with one person ending up shutting down when the other has done what I call the one-upmanship stunt and taken over the topic. Whether it’s casual bantering or expressing important concerns, hijacking a conversation is rarely conducive to enhancing your relationships over time.
BEING A PARENT IS CONNECTING TO THE SPACE OF A CHILD! This space is pure cosmic intelligence ripe with potential! As a parent we need to connect to that possibility - that cosmic potential. If we do not connect to that Divine space and help it to grow, we are stunting the child’s growth by imposing our negative patterns of fear and greed on the child.
Parents seem to spend a great deal of time worrying about and developing their children's intellectual skills and athletic prowess. These are worthy pursuits, yet they alone probably won't help your children navigate the often-challenging world that they will soon face.
Lately much of my work as a life coach has been focused on helping parents to find a healthy balance between helicopter parenting and “forget it, do whatever you want” parenting. As evidenced by the slightly crazed look in parent’s eyes when I suggest that they are hovering, finding that balance is a tough one. I struggle with it with my own three children yet one pervasive thought helps me stay on the ‘hold on loosely’ end of the parenting spectrum; the story my children will tell about themselves when they are old enough to venture out on their
I was walking to my car the other day and passed by a mother with her child of 2-3 years. They were sitting at a table finishing up what appeared to be their lunch. When I was a few yards away, the child quietly asked the mother for something, to go somewhere. The mother's reply: "If you're good, then we'll do that." She not only said it once, but for some reason (perhaps at the child's insistence) repeated herself a couple more times.
Last week I asked my children, “How can I be a better mom to you?” I got the idea from a friend who had asked her daughter the same question. Her daughter, who is in high school, said “Can we read together at night?” How great is that? I was sure that my children would ask for things like more screen time, less rules, messy rooms, and more spending money. Many moms that I talk to don’t think they are doing a good job as parents. They are sure that they are ruining their children in some dramatic fashion and that othe
We often tell our kids what not to do, when our goal actually is for them to do it differently, or better. Our parents probably did the same with us. We're so used to the negative language. * Don't leave your clothes on the floor. * Don't leave the milk on the counter. * Don't be late coming home from the party.
Adults love to give kids warnings when a rule is broken and would love to believe warnings are a highly compassionate method of parenting, a reflection of our loving and kind humanity. But guess what? Warnings may be the farthest thing from true compassion. Though almost always well-intentioned, warnings will routinely backfire. Here are the main reasons why:
“As I grew into my adolescence, I began to associate sex with sin; I imagine this had to do with being surrounded in a conservative religion in my home, church and school. My attitude about sex and sexuality was that it was something that only married or sinful people engaged in. Other than that I did not have much information – and because I was shy – the only place I got information about sex and sexuality was from TV, magazines and books”.
Now, more than ever, our kids need to know the value of a dollar (or peso, Euro, or yen). In this time of what many would call the 'age of entitlement', knowing how to earn, save, and yes, how to spend, their money is crucial. It can be an allowance or a job, but there should be something. If you give an allowance, when and how much is up to you.
A few years ago I was waiting in a doctor's office and, having forgotten to bring the parenting book I was studying, was at the mercy of Muzak. One of the songs that came on was a Céline Dion hit written by Diane Warren, "Because You Loved Me." I listened to the words—yes, I was bored!—and was put off by what I heard as sappy co-dependency between lovers:
Each year millions of women (and men) vow to lose weight. Apparently, only about 5% of them succeed for any length of time. From my observations, the ones that don’t succeed spend the rest of the year obsessing about their weight and their lack of weight loss success. How many more years of your life do you want to spend thinking about your weight, clothes size, number on a scale, or your next diet? What fabulous things are you missing out on because you’ve given so much of your energy to either dieting or cheating on your diet?