Adults love to give kids warnings when a rule is broken and would love to believe warnings are a highly compassionate method of parenting, a reflection of our loving and kind humanity. But guess what? Warnings may be the farthest thing from true compassion. Though almost always well-intentioned, warnings will routinely backfire. Here are the main reasons why:
“As I grew into my adolescence, I began to associate sex with sin; I imagine this had to do with being surrounded in a conservative religion in my home, church and school. My attitude about sex and sexuality was that it was something that only married or sinful people engaged in. Other than that I did not have much information – and because I was shy – the only place I got information about sex and sexuality was from TV, magazines and books”.
Now, more than ever, our kids need to know the value of a dollar (or peso, Euro, or yen). In this time of what many would call the 'age of entitlement', knowing how to earn, save, and yes, how to spend, their money is crucial. It can be an allowance or a job, but there should be something. If you give an allowance, when and how much is up to you.
A few years ago I was waiting in a doctor's office and, having forgotten to bring the parenting book I was studying, was at the mercy of Muzak. One of the songs that came on was a Céline Dion hit written by Diane Warren, "Because You Loved Me." I listened to the words—yes, I was bored!—and was put off by what I heard as sappy co-dependency between lovers:
Each year millions of women (and men) vow to lose weight. Apparently, only about 5% of them succeed for any length of time. From my observations, the ones that don’t succeed spend the rest of the year obsessing about their weight and their lack of weight loss success. How many more years of your life do you want to spend thinking about your weight, clothes size, number on a scale, or your next diet? What fabulous things are you missing out on because you’ve given so much of your energy to either dieting or cheating on your diet?
By Talking Teenage, Jennifer A. Powell-Lunder, Psy.D., for GalTime.com 8 ways to focus on gratitude and giving back with kids
I’ve often found the title “co-parenting” somewhat of a humorous irony, a conundrum. Think about it. Here you have two people that just went through an emotionally hurtful process of divorce and in many instances despise each other. Then it is suggesting that they be calm enough to have a mature conversation about parenting. It’s like the democrats and republicans suddenly compromising to prevent the fiscal cliff after four years of resentment.
It's important to recognize that kids are not reliable reporters and should not be put in the position of "telling on" one parent and witnessing the other parent's major reaction. Parents must communicate directly with each other on the adult level.
Failed time-outs can be a huge source of frustration for parents and teachers, making them question their skills and abilities, and leading to the belief that they need to escalate severity to get consequences to work. This can easily result in stronger and stronger reprimands, lectures, and even yelling, along with more and more drastic and punitive consequences. This is typically a recipe for disaster. There is a much better way. Really understanding why time-outs don’t work is the place to begin.
By Michele Borba, Ed.D., GalTime Parenting Pro No matter what time of year it is, how many toys are in the bin or how often we splurge on the big-ticket products kids think they must have, most parents want to believe we are raising our children to be centered and kind. But are all those times we give in and just buy the American Girl doll or giant Lego set adding up? Are our own spending habits modeling behavior we don't want kids to learn?
by Amy Hoglund, for GalTime.com How parents can work together better, even if they disagree You both want the best for your child. There’s only one problem; actually agreeing on what the “best” is.
