This should be true for everyone. But most of the time it’s not. Today, kids are often taught that failure is OK. They get A’s for effort and a trophy for participating. In the real world, failure is not OK and successful achievement is rewarded. By nature, kids are hardwired to succeed. Perseverance is an instinctive trait. For example, how many times does the average child try to walk before he or she gives up? They don’t give up. They never give up. They do whatever it takes to get from here to there. They keep trying and trying and trying.
We can all agree it's important to teach our children to have a healthy self-esteem, to eat well, exercise often and love their bodies. The question is: how? Below are our experts' best tips for how to be a positive role model for your kids so that they grow up healthy, strong and confident about the way they look.
Every year when the Social Security administration releases its list of most popular baby names, some parents and parents-to-be are bound to get upset, especially if their baby name is too popular. Who wants to be one of five Sophias in their first-grade class?
Too many adults today talk TO their kids and not WITH their kids. Adults are constantly “telling” kdis what to do and how to think. From the time that babies are able to move around their home, they are barraged with negative reinforcement. “No, No baby. Don’t touch that. Don’t eat that. Don’t pull Fido’s ears.” Sound familiar? Infants and toddlers need constant supervision. Until they can communicate with us grown ups, we have few other options to keep them safe.
When it comes to parenting, Secret #8 – Be Consistent, is one of the most important. Whether you realize it or not, the simple strategy of being consistent fills multiple needs for your child’s development. There are some things that EVERY child should get consistently no matter what. Every child should know that he/she is loved unconditionally every second of every day. As a parent, there is NOTHING more important than that. Being loved is the most secure feeling that anyone – child or adult – can have.
As parents, we are in a role of teaching our children so many things to help them prepare for adulthood. It is an important job, a difficult job and a very rewarding one. Our primary goal to to ensure that our children enter adulthood with sufficient skills in the areas of education, relationships, emotions and basic life skills so that they need to navigate successfully, both professionally and personally.family in sunset
Don’t teach your kids what to think… teach them how to think. The process of thinking is actually the process of asking questions. Questions do two things: 1, they stimulate responses. 2, they guide the focus of whoever is involved in those questions. So, if you’re not getting good answers (or any answers at all), ask different and better questions. How many times have your kids asked you a question from their homework? How many times have your kids asked you what to do in a particular situation? How many times have you told them the answer?
Do you have to like or love someone to be considerate, kind and courteous? The answer to that question is simply- No. You can be respectful without agreeing with, or even liking another person. One reason this is such a vital life skill for our children, is for the rest of their lives they will need to interact with, work with and deal with people they may feel are unpleasant. At a young age we begin to establish our own boundaries.
Every child is unique in his or her own way even if they look just like you. Just because you enjoy baseball, dancing, music or reading, doesn’t mean your kids will enjoy the same things. Just because you have a skill or affinity for something doesn’t mean that they will. Just because you are in the same gene pool doesn’t mean you swim in it using the same stroke.
How many times have you seen one of your own “less than favorable” behaviors exhibited by one or more of your kids? It could be something as small as using poor table manners or as significant as lashing out in anger when things don’t go their way. Either way, it is vital for you to understand that children learn how to react from the people in their environment. They mimic the behaviors of their role models. Simply stated, kids emulate adults behaviors until they become anchored and become their own.
When was the last time you sat in a restaurant and became upset that your meal was disturbed by the noisy children a few tables over? How many times have you ranted privately about the poor parenting that's the cause of the latest school shooting or online bullying drama? Like a winter coat to protect yourself from the cold, parents wear judgment of other parents like a shield to protect us from seeing clearly where we might need to improve our own parenting.
By nature, people like be right. We like to be correct. It makes us feel smarter. Kids are people. They like to be right too. Referring back FEAR as addressed in Secret #2, if a kid is afraid to look or sound dumb or un-cool if he or she does something incorrectly, how likely do you think that child is to participate in class, join a club or sport, or try new things?
You probably spent weeks making sure that you had the right car seat, the best stroller, the appropriate clothes and nursery for your child. It takes time and effort to make informed decisions about parenting and about our child’s environment. Today, I would like to ask you to consider an aspect of your child’s environment that you may not have thought about. What is your child’s “sonic environment?” What sounds are they surrounded by? How safe are their toys?
I am best known for teaching kids how to create their own empowering identity. In other words, how do they finish the statement, "I am..." Whether an elementary school student or a corporate CEO, how a person finishes that statement defines who they are, their beliefs about themselves and their world, and the standards they live by. It is their identity. It is the driving force behind the behaviors exhibited both in public and in private. Psychologists and Psychiatrists will tell you that it is nearly impossible for a person to consistently act in a manner that is not congruent with his or her identity. So the question is, how do we get out kids to have identities that empower them rather than hinder them as they grow?
With all the articles about the importance of free play in the lives of our children you may be wondering how to encourage it in your home. Here are some of the best ways to encourage free play in your life with your pre-schooler and school age child, plus a few ways to be a good example by incorporating play into your day. Pre-schoolers 1) Make a fort. Make two forts! Inhabit them with stuffed animals and whoever else is around. Make up stories about who lives in the forts and what they are doing. 2) Make big paintings. This can be as easy as rolling out craft paper on the floor, putting on an old t-shirt for a smock, some brushes and paints and going to town. Cut up sponges and fingers are also great as substitute brushes. Display the results. Wonder together if there is a story or a song or dance that goes with the drawing. 3) Be a band. Make instruments from old cans, combs, whatever you have.
The New York Times reported that over half of the births to US women younger than 30 occurred outside of marriage in 2009. Most of the ongoing rise of births to unmarried women occurred to couples living together but unmarried. So why don't these young women want to get married? New York Times experts speculate on a number of economic reasons in a follow-up article in the Motherlode section. They reported that many young parents said “they would like to be married but not now and not to each other.”