Last week I was talking about two different approach to child rearing: the ancient, closeness seeking bonding between mother and child and the stimuli-response style "Let the child learn from I don't react style." Here it is: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/zita-fekete/unconventional-parenting-part-1
It was 1969, and I had just received my master’s degree in clinical school psychology. Here I was, dragging my family (wife and three children) to State College, Pennsylvania, to enter a doctoral program in child development and family relationships. Unbeknownst to me, a group of clinical researchers from Rutgers University were joining the faculty.
Stress Triggers for Kids How do you know what is stress and what is a temper tantrum? How do you figure out if the stomachache is from too many tacos last night or the math test scheduled today? Why would your six year old be stressed when you are the one who lost the job? Why would your eight year old suddenly hate Little League and begin wheezing as it nears time to go? At times all parents are confused by what are normal growing pains and what is a genuine fear or stress in their child’s life.
As a parent, it is vitally important that you have a sense of passion and purpose in your life, separate from your children. And, it is essential that you learn to define your own sense of worth, rather than making your children's behavior responsible for this. It is too big a burden for children to be the center of your life.
Your teen leaves his dirty clothes all over the house. Instead of getting into another fight with him or nagging him to pick them up, you do it for him. It’s easier, right? Your daughter with ADD is having problems completing her science project. She can’t seem to focus and complains that it’s boring and too difficult. After she goes to sleep, you finish it for her. After all, you don’t want her to fail.
On Saturday May 26, 2012, my oldest daughter graduated from high school and she's off to college in the fall, leaving the nest. This summer is probably the last time she'll be living at home for the rest of her life. Sure, she'll come home over the holidays and summer break, but most of that time is spent going out with friends and catching up on the happenings in their lives. From this point forward, my baby is going to be out in the real world on her own. Am I nostalgic thinking back about the time we spent together? Heck yes. Am I sad? Yes, but excited for the adventure she is about to embark on. Am I worried? No way! Let me share with you a true story involving a little boy and a little girl that happened many years ago but still moves me to tears when I tell it.
Let me ask you a couple questions. How many stressed out, unhappy, and directionless adults do you know? Now answer the same question but replace adults with kids 12 and younger. It’s a much smaller list isn’t it? I’ll bet a lot of the kids on your list are related to the adults from the first question. Coincidence? I think not.
Older siblings often have trouble accepting the arrival of a new baby because your new little bundle knocks the little prince or princess off of his or her throne. Here are some handy tips to help your older child overcome the jolt of losing her position as your littlest darling.
This should be true for everyone. But most of the time it’s not. Today, kids are often taught that failure is OK. They get A’s for effort and a trophy for participating. In the real world, failure is not OK and successful achievement is rewarded. By nature, kids are hardwired to succeed. Perseverance is an instinctive trait. For example, how many times does the average child try to walk before he or she gives up? They don’t give up. They never give up. They do whatever it takes to get from here to there. They keep trying and trying and trying.
We can all agree it's important to teach our children to have a healthy self-esteem, to eat well, exercise often and love their bodies. The question is: how? Below are our experts' best tips for how to be a positive role model for your kids so that they grow up healthy, strong and confident about the way they look.
Every year when the Social Security administration releases its list of most popular baby names, some parents and parents-to-be are bound to get upset, especially if their baby name is too popular. Who wants to be one of five Sophias in their first-grade class?
Too many adults today talk TO their kids and not WITH their kids. Adults are constantly “telling” kdis what to do and how to think. From the time that babies are able to move around their home, they are barraged with negative reinforcement. “No, No baby. Don’t touch that. Don’t eat that. Don’t pull Fido’s ears.” Sound familiar? Infants and toddlers need constant supervision. Until they can communicate with us grown ups, we have few other options to keep them safe.
When it comes to parenting, Secret #8 – Be Consistent, is one of the most important. Whether you realize it or not, the simple strategy of being consistent fills multiple needs for your child’s development. There are some things that EVERY child should get consistently no matter what. Every child should know that he/she is loved unconditionally every second of every day. As a parent, there is NOTHING more important than that. Being loved is the most secure feeling that anyone – child or adult – can have.
As parents, we are in a role of teaching our children so many things to help them prepare for adulthood. It is an important job, a difficult job and a very rewarding one. Our primary goal to to ensure that our children enter adulthood with sufficient skills in the areas of education, relationships, emotions and basic life skills so that they need to navigate successfully, both professionally and personally.family in sunset
Don’t teach your kids what to think… teach them how to think. The process of thinking is actually the process of asking questions. Questions do two things: 1, they stimulate responses. 2, they guide the focus of whoever is involved in those questions. So, if you’re not getting good answers (or any answers at all), ask different and better questions. How many times have your kids asked you a question from their homework? How many times have your kids asked you what to do in a particular situation? How many times have you told them the answer?
Do you have to like or love someone to be considerate, kind and courteous? The answer to that question is simply- No. You can be respectful without agreeing with, or even liking another person. One reason this is such a vital life skill for our children, is for the rest of their lives they will need to interact with, work with and deal with people they may feel are unpleasant. At a young age we begin to establish our own boundaries.