"The economy’s so bad we had to lay off one of our kids," comedian Jonathan Katz recently joked. Pretty funny. And absurd. But what about laying off the stork? Now there’s an idea…
"The childbirth books speak of diminished desire post-birth and suggest lubrication, but nobody talks about the other possibility. What if sex were better? What if all of the inhibitions and disparaging thoughts that once filled our heads fled? What if the very act of childbirth forced them out?" How one couple's sex life improved after they had a baby.
The past 25 years have left women's plates increasingly—some might argue, precariously—overloaded, as they try to keep healthy portions of career, love and family. In her upcoming new book, "In Her Own Sweet Time: Unexpected Adventures In Finding Love, Commitment, And Motherhood," New York City journalist Rachel Lehmann-Haupt explores the expanding buffet of choices that exist for women hoping to "have it all" today.
Studies say that the quality of a marriage drops when a couple has kids, and rises when the children leave the nest. But, says one woman, if would-be-parents plan in advance, they might be able to avoid ruining your marriage. In fact, mom and dad might both end up loving the baby more than they love each other—and that's OK.
In a classic, made for Maury tale, Alfie (just 12 at the time) impregnated Chantelle, then helped her hide the pregnancy until her mom noticed her bump. The parents of these two baby-having babies came together to support the scenario, and are allowing the pair to have sleepovers as they struggle to raise their infant. Alfie's dad notes that the kid still seems completely confused by the situation, which makes total sense BECAUSE HE IS ONLY THIRTEEN. Dad says, "I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and the bees talk. Some may say it's too late but he needs to understand so there is not another baby."
Nadya Suleman, newly made mother of 14 children, is a news story that won't quit. The Associated Press reports "Suleman has been supporting her six other children with $490 a month in food stamps and receives Social Security disability payments for three of the youngsters that could total $2,379 a month." Her octuplets, who were born prematurely on January 26 and remain in the hospital, are racking up further expenses. The AP says the cost of raising 14 children as a single mother in California lies somewhere between $1.3 to $2.7 million. Taxpayers—perhaps those struggling to pay their own family's expenses in a recession—are angry.
Poll: Should Therapy For Kids Of Divorced Parents Be Mandatory?: Yes, absolutely. They'll thank you in the long run. No, not necessarily. The kids should be able to choose.
When it comes to parenting, couples often take two different approaches. He prefers to let them learn from the school of hard knocks, you like to protect and nurture them. Which way is the right way? How do you parent with two different parenting styles? One writer learns that the best thing about having two parents is that you and your children learn that there is no one right way. Sometimes it's OK to stand underneath them as they climb the monkey bars. Other times its OK to let them climb to the very top of the tree. Kids and parents both learn from multiple perspectives.
"Parents who are unhappy, dissatisfied or insecure in love, however, go beyond limits and try to dictate or control how their teens treat their dates, the study found. These parents try to influence their kids to value certain things and act in specific ways. Parents would tell teens to open doors for dates, 'act like a gentleman' (or a lady), or resist letting a date 'walk all over' them. The goal may be to launch their teens on a romantic path happier than their own, Dr. Madsen says. But kids often regard this advice as intrusive, and again, it tended to have the opposite effect. The teens affected weren't particularly content with their dating relationships."
Many women go through a postpartum libido drought. This dry spell is caused by natural bodily changes and may be the result of depression or even breast-feeding! Sometimes it can even last for months and can cause a significant strain on your relationships. Are our hormones too out of balance to even think about doing THAT? Or is there something more to it? Elizabeth Uppman gets to bottom of this all-too-common phenomenon in a very personal essay.
Having a child irrevocably alters the balance of a partnership. The responsibility, time commitment and difficulty having baby is tough, no matter how strong your union; romance and sex after kids can be hard to accomplish. Although many couples decide the disruption is worth it, finding a new equilibrium can be challenging. Here, one mother comments on why she won't do it again. In her own words, "admitting that bringing a child into a relationship might ruin said relationship verges on the unpatriotic. Like most of us, I expect romance to survive marriage and committed cohabitation. I’m more dubious that it can survive raising a child."