Don’t teach your kids what to think… teach them how to think. The process of thinking is actually the process of asking questions. Questions do two things: 1, they stimulate responses. 2, they guide the focus of whoever is involved in those questions. So, if you’re not getting good answers (or any answers at all), ask different and better questions. How many times have your kids asked you a question from their homework? How many times have your kids asked you what to do in a particular situation? How many times have you told them the answer?
Every child is unique in his or her own way even if they look just like you. Just because you enjoy baseball, dancing, music or reading, doesn’t mean your kids will enjoy the same things. Just because you have a skill or affinity for something doesn’t mean that they will. Just because you are in the same gene pool doesn’t mean you swim in it using the same stroke.
Few things empower people (especially kids) more than giving them ownership of the decisions that effect their lives and circumstances. When they decide for themselves, they have both emotional and intellectual “skin in the game.” So, let’s talk about Parenting Secret #5 to Empower Kids: Decisions Have Consequences. Let your kids make choices for themselves and then let them live with results – be they positive or negative. Kids must understand how the decisions they make affect their lives.
As if divorce isn't hard enough, what's a parent supposed to to when his or her ex is spoiling their kids with gifts in a shameless attempt to buy their love and loyalty? In this video, Family/Relationship Therapist, Bestselling Author and YourTango Expert Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil explains how very common this unfortunate experience is and what you can do if it happens to you.
By nature, people like be right. We like to be correct. It makes us feel smarter. Kids are people. They like to be right too. Referring back FEAR as addressed in Secret #2, if a kid is afraid to look or sound dumb or un-cool if he or she does something incorrectly, how likely do you think that child is to participate in class, join a club or sport, or try new things?
According to the Encarta Dictionary, fear is defined as an unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehension caused by the presence or anticipation of danger. The most commonly use synonyms are panic, anxiety, and worry. How often do we hear those words in the media these days? The key words in that definition are the “presence or anticipation.” There are different types of fear that humans feel. Some are instinctive and helpful while others are invented in the mind and hurtful. The instinctive fears show up in the “presence” of danger.
When I got married, I honestly didn't know if I would ever want to be a mom. As the second oldest of eight children, the whole idea seemed daunting. Six years into my marriage, my husband and I discovered we were pregnant and now, a year into motherhood, I know that having little E was the best decision we ever made as a couple.
Do you allow your kids to give you the joy of laughter? Do you let yourself play long enough to get the joke? Do you even take the time to hear them when they are funny...even if they don't intend to be? Do you factor in the self confidence and self worth they derive when you express your appreciation for them through your laughter? Live a little—Laugh a little!
For once, my teenage daughter decided to talk to me. We were driving home from school and she said, "Dad, I have something to tell you." Here it comes, I thought — either some overwrought teenage drama or a parent's worst nightmare is about to escape my precious firstborn's lips. With a quavering voice she delivered the punch: "Jackie and I are dating."
I stood there in my sweatpants, a bit disheveled, wanting to cry out, "No! You and I belong together!" But that was my need, not his. He walked off, his Bakugan backpack shining in the sun, without turning his head. I tightened my jacket around me. He caught sight of his friend, and slung his arm around his shoulders, a gesture that seemed more mature than he was. They disappeared into the school, laughing, tilting their faces towards one another. And just like that, the cord was severed.
If perfect parents ever lived, I pity their children. What excuse could the children of perfect parents offer for their later failures? On a more serious note, when parents aim for perfection, the category they are more likely to occupy is "too good," as in "too good to be true," or down right incompetent.
My husband and I seem to parent our children differently based on their genders, a tendency I never expected, being the enlightened and empowered woman I am. (“Roar” and all that.) Once we had both a boy and a girl, though, this tendency became obvious.
Single parents have it rough trying to balance their personal lives with the demands and responsibility that come with being a parent. Dating can be especially challenging, as there are certain boundaries that should not be crossed because the overall well-being of the child has to come first.
Only one reproductive choice is stigmatized: voluntary childlessness. Many protest against this cultural bias, arguing that childfree (preferred over childless) should be a respected choice, says Berkeley clinical psychologist Mardy S. Ireland, Ph.D., author of Reconceiving Women: Separating Motherhood from Female Identity (Guilford, 1993). Motherhood is the defining life experience for many women, but it's not for everyone. Being female doesn't mean your instincts, talents and needs destine you for maternity.
We've all dated someone who didn't pass our parents' approval meter, but nothing, not even Dad's "rules for courting my little girl" lectures, can beat how this 47 year-old German man taught his daughter's older boyfriend a lesson. Helmut Seifert, father of a seventeen year-old girl, castrated Philip Genscher, 57, with a bread knife after an anonymous tipper notified him of their relationship.
Not every mother is thrilled for her daughter's wedding, but while some dissenters hold their peace, others accuse the bride of being a suicide bomber. Over the weekend, CNN reported that a Russian woman told police that her daughter planned to explode a plane. The flight was delayed and the bride, who was traveling to Morocco for her wedding, was taken away for questioning. Investigators later traced the call to her mother, who admitted that she disapproved of her daughter's engagement to a Moroccan citizen.
We asked some of the top love experts to give the final word on the most-asked relationship and dating questions. In this episode of "The Final Word," Ian Kerner, Evan Marc Katz, Debra Burrell and Andrea Syrtash give advice on how to deal with an intrusive mother-in-law.