Older siblings often have trouble accepting the arrival of a new baby because your new little bundle knocks the little prince or princess off of his or her throne. Here are some handy tips to help your older child overcome the jolt of losing her position as your littlest darling.
Last week, as I lay in bed trying to go to sleep with a diapered behind smooshed against my cheek, I pondered why it is that children are so talented at sucking the life out of their parents' sex lives. My kids don't even know what sex is (I don't think, although I may have just jinxed that), but they're like little sex leeches, bleeding the life out of our bedroom activities.
This should be true for everyone. But most of the time it’s not. Today, kids are often taught that failure is OK. They get A’s for effort and a trophy for participating. In the real world, failure is not OK and successful achievement is rewarded. By nature, kids are hardwired to succeed. Perseverance is an instinctive trait. For example, how many times does the average child try to walk before he or she gives up? They don’t give up. They never give up. They do whatever it takes to get from here to there. They keep trying and trying and trying.
Every year when the Social Security administration releases its list of most popular baby names, some parents and parents-to-be are bound to get upset, especially if their baby name is too popular. Who wants to be one of five Sophias in their first-grade class?
I'm often asked about good computer filters, so I thought I'd write a bit here to help you get started with some basic information. For parents, these programs can be very helpful to limit your child's access to certain sites on the internet. For sex addicts or those who struggle with pornography, setting up filters and accountability software is a vital component of successful recovery.
Too many adults today talk TO their kids and not WITH their kids. Adults are constantly “telling” kdis what to do and how to think. From the time that babies are able to move around their home, they are barraged with negative reinforcement. “No, No baby. Don’t touch that. Don’t eat that. Don’t pull Fido’s ears.” Sound familiar? Infants and toddlers need constant supervision. Until they can communicate with us grown ups, we have few other options to keep them safe.
When it comes to parenting, Secret #8 – Be Consistent, is one of the most important. Whether you realize it or not, the simple strategy of being consistent fills multiple needs for your child’s development. There are some things that EVERY child should get consistently no matter what. Every child should know that he/she is loved unconditionally every second of every day. As a parent, there is NOTHING more important than that. Being loved is the most secure feeling that anyone – child or adult – can have.
Don’t teach your kids what to think… teach them how to think. The process of thinking is actually the process of asking questions. Questions do two things: 1, they stimulate responses. 2, they guide the focus of whoever is involved in those questions. So, if you’re not getting good answers (or any answers at all), ask different and better questions. How many times have your kids asked you a question from their homework? How many times have your kids asked you what to do in a particular situation? How many times have you told them the answer?
Every child is unique in his or her own way even if they look just like you. Just because you enjoy baseball, dancing, music or reading, doesn’t mean your kids will enjoy the same things. Just because you have a skill or affinity for something doesn’t mean that they will. Just because you are in the same gene pool doesn’t mean you swim in it using the same stroke.
Few things empower people (especially kids) more than giving them ownership of the decisions that effect their lives and circumstances. When they decide for themselves, they have both emotional and intellectual “skin in the game.” So, let’s talk about Parenting Secret #5 to Empower Kids: Decisions Have Consequences. Let your kids make choices for themselves and then let them live with results – be they positive or negative. Kids must understand how the decisions they make affect their lives.
As if divorce isn't hard enough, what's a parent supposed to to when his or her ex is spoiling their kids with gifts in a shameless attempt to buy their love and loyalty? In this video, Family/Relationship Therapist, Bestselling Author and YourTango Expert Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil explains how very common this unfortunate experience is and what you can do when it happens to you.
By nature, people like be right. We like to be correct. It makes us feel smarter. Kids are people. They like to be right too. Referring back FEAR as addressed in Secret #2, if a kid is afraid to look or sound dumb or un-cool if he or she does something incorrectly, how likely do you think that child is to participate in class, join a club or sport, or try new things?
According to the Encarta Dictionary, fear is defined as an unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehension caused by the presence or anticipation of danger. The most commonly use synonyms are panic, anxiety, and worry. How often do we hear those words in the media these days? The key words in that definition are the “presence or anticipation.” There are different types of fear that humans feel. Some are instinctive and helpful while others are invented in the mind and hurtful. The instinctive fears show up in the “presence” of danger.
When I got married, I honestly didn't know if I would ever want to be a mom. As the second oldest of eight children, the whole idea seemed daunting. Six years into my marriage, my husband and I discovered we were pregnant and now, a year into motherhood, I know that having little E was the best decision we ever made as a couple.
Do you allow your kids to give you the joy of laughter? Do you let yourself play long enough to get the joke? Do you even take the time to hear them when they are funny...even if they don't intend to be? Do you factor in the self confidence and self worth they derive when you express your appreciation for them through your laughter? Live a little—Laugh a little!
For once, my teenage daughter decided to talk to me. We were driving home from school and she said, "Dad, I have something to tell you." Here it comes, I thought — either some overwrought teenage drama or a parent's worst nightmare is about to escape my precious firstborn's lips. With a quavering voice she delivered the punch: "Jackie and I are dating."
I stood there in my sweatpants, a bit disheveled, wanting to cry out, "No! You and I belong together!" But that was my need, not his. He walked off, his Bakugan backpack shining in the sun, without turning his head. I tightened my jacket around me. He caught sight of his friend, and slung his arm around his shoulders, a gesture that seemed more mature than he was. They disappeared into the school, laughing, tilting their faces towards one another. And just like that, the cord was severed.