Do parents lie to their kids? Do kids tell lies? Why do we lie, often when the truth would serve us better? We recently had a group of friends and relatives in our home for a dinner party. After some great food and general conversation, I asked them to help me with this project. Everyone was supportive and eager to assist in writing a book. But when I asked them to tell me why they lied, there was a shocked silence.
On his website, Amderson Cooper poses the question, "Are you an unconventional parent?" Initially, the question confused me. What is unconventional? Is it the millions-of-years-old, affectionate, closeness-seeking child rearing? Or is it the less-than-hundred-years-old stimuli-response based non-affectionate style? And, more importantly, whose advice should we follow?
Are your children lost in cyber space? Do they prefer the company of video games and television to the family? Are their only friends on Facebook? Can they day dream and use their imagination to create wonderful games or activities on their own? Do they need someone or something to tell them how to have fun? If so, they need to develop their amazing imagination and think of new ways to solve problems, create possibilities and think their own thoughts. Here are three great ways to plug in imagination
There has been a sign posted on Camp Tuffit in Montana for most of the last century. It says "Free Cabins to persons over 80 years old- (If Accompanied by parents)" No one had ever taken advantage of the offer until 80-year-old Shirley Gunter of Missoula decided to check out if it was a legitatmate offer. It was. So Shirley and her family, including her mom, Helen Self who is 102 years old went camping at Lake Mary Ronan, Montana.
Most people would agree that family is what makes our lives meaningful, our most valuable resource. Family is multi-dimensional: it’s what we’re born into, develop out of, and continue to create throughout our lifetimes. Family carries on long after we are gone. Because of the increase in the rates of divorce and separation, today’s family often includes children, stepchildren, and half-siblings; husbands, wives, ex-husbands and ex-wives; parents and step-parents; and a host of extended family members including grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and in-laws.
It was 1969, and I had just received my master’s degree in clinical school psychology. Here I was, dragging my family (wife and three children) to State College, Pennsylvania, to enter a doctoral program in child development and family relationships. Unbeknownst to me, a group of clinical researchers from Rutgers University were joining the faculty.
None of us want "spoiled" kids—kids who are bratty, self-centered, demanding, inconsiderate. So, what spoils children and what doesn't? When I was raising my children, I was often told that I would spoil them if I held them a lot, rather than let them cry. Fortunately, I didn't believe this. You can't spoil a child with love. Children need love as much as they need food and water. The problem is in defining "love."
When my daughter was born, I was determined to be a breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, cloth diapering, hippie mama. Nine months later, the only thing that'd stuck was the cloth diapers. I had just started my daughter on formula, she had been in the sling exactly five times and never once slept in her fancy little co-sleeper, which I returned to the store. And yes, I felt like a failure.
Your teen leaves his dirty clothes all over the house. Instead of getting into another fight with him or nagging him to pick them up, you do it for him. It’s easier, right? Your daughter with ADD is having problems completing her science project. She can’t seem to focus and complains that it’s boring and too difficult. After she goes to sleep, you finish it for her. After all, you don’t want her to fail.
On Saturday May 26, 2012, my oldest daughter graduated from high school and she's off to college in the fall, leaving the nest. This summer is probably the last time she'll be living at home for the rest of her life. Sure, she'll come home over the holidays and summer break, but most of that time is spent going out with friends and catching up on the happenings in their lives. From this point forward, my baby is going to be out in the real world on her own. Am I nostalgic thinking back about the time we spent together? Heck yes. Am I sad? Yes, but excited for the adventure she is about to embark on. Am I worried? No way! Let me share with you a true story involving a little boy and a little girl that happened many years ago but still moves me to tears when I tell it.
What is Child Exploitation? The very words exploit means to use unfairly for one's own advantage. Sexual abuse can take the form of child exploitation for example, by photographing the child in a compromising situation, with the intent to either use the photos for their own sexual stimulation or to sell the photos as pornography. It can also mean kidnapping and selling children into prostitution, or even just forcing someone younger and weaker to do your will.
Let me ask you a couple questions. How many stressed out, unhappy, and directionless adults do you know? Now answer the same question but replace adults with kids 12 and younger. It’s a much smaller list isn’t it? I’ll bet a lot of the kids on your list are related to the adults from the first question. Coincidence? I think not.
Older siblings often have trouble accepting the arrival of a new baby because your new little bundle knocks the little prince or princess off of his or her throne. Here are some handy tips to help your older child overcome the jolt of losing her position as your littlest darling.
Last week, as I lay in bed trying to go to sleep with a diapered behind smooshed against my cheek, I pondered why it is that children are so talented at sucking the life out of their parents' sex lives. My kids don't even know what sex is (I don't think, although I may have just jinxed that), but they're like little sex leeches, bleeding the life out of our bedroom activities.
This should be true for everyone. But most of the time it’s not. Today, kids are often taught that failure is OK. They get A’s for effort and a trophy for participating. In the real world, failure is not OK and successful achievement is rewarded. By nature, kids are hardwired to succeed. Perseverance is an instinctive trait. For example, how many times does the average child try to walk before he or she gives up? They don’t give up. They never give up. They do whatever it takes to get from here to there. They keep trying and trying and trying.