Is divorce ruining society? Well, no. A Nerve.com essay argues that divorce has always been a part of society, just for social and economic reasons it hasn't always been visible. But as society moves closer to gender equality and as more and more women achieve financial independence the institution of marriage is taking on a new meaning. Marriage is no longer a means of financial and social security. Marriage today is about love. And conversely, divorce today is about incompatibility. From gay marriage to open marriage, the definition of "until death do us part" is in flux and the odds are good your childrens' marriage will look vastly different from your own. But is that such a bad thing?
Are you curious about an open relationship, but not sure where to start? Maybe you've talked about open marriage with your partner but don't know how to move forward. Below are seven steps to help you begin opening up. Remember: all relationships are unique—one size does not fit all. Use these tips as a guide, but do what feels right for you.
There are many surprising benefits to open marriage. In this essay one writer explains that openness can bring you closer to your spouse by improving communication, honesty and self-acceptance. "It seems counterintuitive but it’s true: By opening up our relationship and deepening our honesty, we’re happier than we’ve ever been. Our house is peaceful and there aren’t anymore deep dark secrets between us." It can help you see your spouse in a new light. "Most people can relate to going on a date or to an event with your spouse and seeing his or her excellence or attractiveness as though from a new perspective. Well, the same applies in spades when you see your spouse all lit up by a new love-interest, assuming you can overcome whatever jealousy or possessiveness that arise." Non-monogamy can heat up your sex life when old lovers learn new tricks. "After enjoying time with other men or women, you might find yourself developing a deeper appreciation for your partner, once he or she is out there learning new things and bringing them back to you."
Do you know what polyamory is? It's the idea of loving more than 1 person at a time. We meet a couple of polyamorists and learn about their relationship and the nature of open relationship. YourTango goes to the street and finds out what the deal is with polyamory.
It's like a Spin Doctors song or something. A pair of men in Atlanta were thrown out of the apartment they shared with 1 of the men's wife for fighting. Evidently, the husband and wife were going at it, as husbands and wives do from time to time, and the other guy got jealous and started a fight.
Bitch Ph.D. describes its content as "ranting about current events from a feminist perspective;" certainly there's plenty of food for feminist thought on the site, plus posts about being a working mom, academia, politics, the media â€“ all great, smart stuff. But what gets our panties damp are the posts about Bitch Ph.D.'s feminist marriage.
I call my significant other, "my girlfriend." One of them anyway. The other one I call, "my husband." This language allows me to get away with a certain amount of ambiguity, to "pass" if you will. Once I say husband, it's assumed that, when I say "girlfriend," I'm using the Southern version of "friend who's a girl," no romance implied. But that's not what I mean. Nor do I mean anything dismissive or fleeting when I use that term. And so, I wonder, do I need a new word? If I do, what would it be? If not, what happens to a relationship that's not properly named?
Opening a relationship is no simple task, Jenny Block explains. From the book Open by Jenny Block. Excerpted by arrangement with Seal Press, a member of the Perseus Books Group. Copyright 2008. As time went on, she realized that several key elements make a successful open marriage, and though those factors involved the community of people she surrounded herself with, it was mostly about how she chose to act and react, and how to be in her relationship and her own skin. Having come this far, she more than realized that it was never going to be easy. She was always going to need to protect her daughter. Things couldn't always be exactly as she wanted them to be. But she was doing it, and she knew she wasn't alone in her journey.
Dan and Carrie give non-monogamy advice to a bisexual woman who wants a threesome with her best friend, but the best friend isn't attracted to the woman's overweight husband. "As I read through Karen's email a second time, and then a third, I noticed a certain passive aggressive sentiment that was hidden between the lines. For instance, Karen seemed to be singing her rotund husband's praises in one sentence, but then cutting him down in an understated, subtle sort of way in the next. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was dealing with a Classic Female Communication issue. In other words, Karen was clearly saying one thing, but insinuating something entirely different. In the end, Carrie and I decided to join together the best quotes from our conversation. Go ahead and look through Karen's email yourself, or simply scroll down to find out what Carrie and I had to say."
It appears that Will Smith is down with open marriage as Holy Moly reports. And we mean 'down' like the kids mean it as a synonym for into, i.e. "hey Todd, I'm down like 4 flat tires for this picnic." Anyways, the Hancock star appears to have an understanding with wife Jada Pinkett Smith in which both are permitted to sex up other people. The main stipulation is that they have to give the other Smith a heads up about the sitchy. Will Smith says, and we're paraphrasing, that he'd feel like a real dope if he found out only after the fact. It looks like this is another way in which Dan Eldridge and Will Smith are alike. We're not 100% what the other ways are but who doesn't want to be like Will Smith?
YourTango readers: When it comes to the subjects of polyamory and swinging and open relationships, what are you honestly, truly most curious about? Do you want to know more about the rules and boundaries Carrie and I have developed for our own sex lives? Do you want to learn about how and why we decided to open up our relationship in the first place? Do you want to know what our friends and families have to say about our situation? Do you want to read more about our plans for the future, like our upcoming "UnWedding," or the possibility that we may one day add a permanent third person to our relationship?
If Bill was suggesting a sexual relationship with me, he was coy about it. The man I had interned for in college met me for coffee, ostensibly to talk advise a young sprout on her career. He's brilliant, attractive and a leader in his field. But when Bill began talking about how he sleeps with women other than his wife, I panicked at any hint of a subtext. What threw me off was when he told me that the wife knew about it. That was the first time someone I knew confessed to an "open marriage," and it challenged my notions -- illusions, perhaps -- about intimacy and fidelity. I'm as jealous as they come and I asked Bill if it bothered him that his wife slept with other men. But he said certainly not -- sleeping with numerous people actually made him a more confident person. And did their children know?
Jenny Blocks answers the question "Where do you find people to seduce?" So you and your partner have decided to embark on an open relationship. You've talked about it and thought about it and considered all of the ways it might work – and not work – and decided that you're both interested in giving it a try. That's when the second most frequent question I get arises. Dear Jenny: We're ready to try opening our relationship. But where do you find people to seduce? Best, Open to Something New