What would you do if you found out that the mom you shared carpool duties with was a dominatrix at night? Or what if that cute couple next door wasn't really a couple—but a threesome or a foursome? How would you react? Well, you better get used to it, because all across America, in sleepy suburbs just like yours, moms are hiding secrets. Meet Robyn. She's a 44-year-old mom of three and a polyamorist who's currently involved in loving, intimate relationships with three men. And she's open to more, time permitting.
Originally posted at http://notyourmothersplayground.com Here’s a fact I’ve realized lately: I’ve dated / slept with way more people since being married than I ever did when I was actually single. Looking back on my real single life is a strange exercise. Steph and I have been together since I was just about 21 so my single days are far behind me, plus I was younger then and times have changed. Still, I have enough single friends to know what dating is like nowadays and I wanted to reflect on the differences between being actually single and single(ish). (Dating while in an open relationship.) The first obvious difference is that being Ish, I’m already coming home to somebody. The ’sense of urgency’ that I’ve seen so many people go through is lifted. I don’t have any questions of “Is he (or sometimes she) the one?”. That position is filled and if I’m looking
Thinking about open marriage or non-monogamy? According to this author, monogamy and women are a good mix. "If history can teach us anything, the open relationship bandwagon will come and go, which is a good thing because most women still benefit from and prefer monogamy. Why? Women still generally do more work in relationships than men do and openness requires even more diligence than a regular relationship; women are taught to care more about relationships and risk more for them than men, so non-monogamy raises the stakes more for us. And, despite today’s female open relationship proponents, it’s men who typically initiate and prefer non-monogamy."
On October 4, 2008 Jenny Block spoke at the Poly Pride Rally in New York City. The rally was part of Poly Pride Weekend, a gathering for polyamorous people, those who maintain multiple loving relationships at the same time. Jenny is the author of Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, which all started on Tango, in her essay, Portrait of an Open Marriage.
If you're a regular YourTango reader you might be familiar with open relationships. Jenny Block, YourTango writer and author of the book Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, has both a husband and a girlfriend. Dan Eldridge, who pens the blog "Marriage Without Monogamy," also has an non-monogamous long-term relationship. But YourTango isn't the only media outlet to tell the stories of people in open relationships. Set your DVR now, because tonight at 10/9c WE tv is airing an open marriage episode of their series, The Secret Lives of Women. The show focuses on four women with distinct non-monogamous lifestyles.
Opportunities for intimacy are all around us, and they don't need to be sexual. (But they certainly can be…) We can have intimate moments with family and friends and they need not have naughty overtones. But we can also have intimacies that are rooted in sexual desire, and having and desiring and pursuing those relationships need not be precluded by our marital state. I hope that everyone who is married has intimacy with their spouse. But I also want to dispel the myth that marriage is the only thing that can provide "true" intimacy.
There are many surprising benefits to open marriage. In this essay one writer explains that openness can bring you closer to your spouse by improving communication, honesty and self-acceptance. "It seems counterintuitive but it’s true: By opening up our relationship and deepening our honesty, we’re happier than we’ve ever been. Our house is peaceful and there aren’t anymore deep dark secrets between us." It can help you see your spouse in a new light. "Most people can relate to going on a date or to an event with your spouse and seeing his or her excellence or attractiveness as though from a new perspective. Well, the same applies in spades when you see your spouse all lit up by a new love-interest, assuming you can overcome whatever jealousy or possessiveness that arise." Non-monogamy can heat up your sex life when old lovers learn new tricks. "After enjoying time with other men or women, you might find yourself developing a deeper appreciation for your partner, once he or she is out there learning new things and bringing them back to you."
Bitch Ph.D. describes its content as "ranting about current events from a feminist perspective;" certainly there's plenty of food for feminist thought on the site, plus posts about being a working mom, academia, politics, the media â€“ all great, smart stuff. But what gets our panties damp are the posts about Bitch Ph.D.'s feminist marriage.
I call my significant other, "my girlfriend." One of them anyway. The other one I call, "my husband." This language allows me to get away with a certain amount of ambiguity, to "pass" if you will. Once I say husband, it's assumed that, when I say "girlfriend," I'm using the Southern version of "friend who's a girl," no romance implied. But that's not what I mean. Nor do I mean anything dismissive or fleeting when I use that term. And so, I wonder, do I need a new word? If I do, what would it be? If not, what happens to a relationship that's not properly named?