What He's Really Thinking During Your First Few Dates

By

man looking at camera
Ever wonder what a man really thinks during those early encounters with you? Get the inside story...

Have you ever gone on a few dates with a guy, thought things were going well, and then things fizzled out without warning?
I can't tell you how many women write to me about this. They had a great couple of first dates, the guy kept asking her back out, she got her hopes up, and then the guy stopped initiating anything.
If this has happened to you, you know how disappointing it can be. But if you understand a guy's process when it comes to dating, you can save yourself a lot of frustration and instead set yourself up for the kind of lasting love you're looking for with the right guy.

His Mindset Is Different From Yours

Men and women think about the early stages of dating very differently. Women often try to read too much into their early interactions with men, which then leads them to think that after the first few dates they’re in what I call the “instant relationship”.
That means a woman will often think she's in a relationship with a man when he’s still feeling things out. So she becomes too available, too eager, and too invested in where this is all going. She also starts expecting things from him — she assumes they're going to be seeing each other every weekend, she expresses annoyance when he doesn't call her more often, or she assumes an exclusive relationship instead of actually discussing it.
Suddenly he feels pressured, and she loses that cool-girl vibe that attracted him in the first place.

Getting To Know All About You

When a man asks you out for a second or third date, all it means is he's interested in getting to know you better, because he felt a good connection with you on date #1.
It doesn't mean that he necessarily wants to be exclusive or is already thinking about a serious relationship. He's still just getting to know you. He's enjoying your company, having fun, and starting to wonder about you.
But if you're already thinking ahead to the next few months when this is the only man you're seeing and things are serious, you're doing yourself a disservice. You've already made a decision about this guy, and you don't even know him that well yet. All you're doing is going by your gut feeling and the chemistry you feel when you're with him.

Slow Down If You Want Him To Speed Up

Article contributed by

Christian Carter

Dating Coach

Discover the inside secrets of finding and keeping "Mr. Right" - Christian Carter’s Catch Him And Keep Him eBook takes you inside the mind of a man to deliver the hidden keys and secret strategies every woman needs to create the forever relationship of her dreams.

Subscribe to Christian’s FREE newsletter here or visit www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com for more details.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Christian Carter:

Talking Too Much About Your Relationship Hurts More Than It Helps

By

Imagine you're seeing a new man. You're spending more and more time with him, and the two of you are really hitting it off. Every time you're together, you connect and grow closer. So ... why isn't he moving things forward fast enough? Can't he see how great the two of you are together? Shouldn't you remind him? The Two Relationship ... Read more

How To Be The "Cool Girl" Of His Dreams

By

Did you know that most men decide if a woman is "girlfriend material" within a few seconds of meeting her? That's right - if you don't know how to create the right first impression with a man, then you just might get thrown into the "just a friend" category for good. That's why it's important to understand what causes a ... Read more

Want Him To Commit? 3 Things You Should Know

By

Some men aren't able to commit to a woman because they're not ready or the timing isn't right. But often, even a committed bachelor will take the plunge when he meets a woman who attracts him. These are the qualities such men are looking for: She's not looking to him to fill a job description. Want to know one of the biggest fears men ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular