Being "Alone" Doesn’t Mean Being "Lonely"

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Why is it such a widely accepted view and general attitude towards singles that alone means lonely? An important step in bouncing back from your relationship breakup is changing your own views on being single. Just because you don’t have a partner doesn’t make you less able or deserving of love. You still deserve to love yourself and have another love you.

 

By recognizing single stereotypes and why they have your perception skewed, probably without your knowledge, you will relieve yourself of the pressures associated with being single. The stigma of singles always wanting to be in a relationship is the first thing you should acknowledge. It is a myth that to be happy you must be in a relationship; in fact, if you think about people you know who only feel completed by another person, they are probably unhappy people on the whole.

 

The idea that one is only completed upon finding their mate is deep-rooted in our culture and isn’t going to change any time soon. But you can change your own attitude and reject this unhealthy idea. Be more aware of the pressures of being single - there’s pressure to find someone new; there's pressure to be comfortable and confident on your own. Pay attention to the latter - focus of yourself and enjoy this time you have to be independent. Don’t adhere to the norms that are detrimental to bouncing back. Don’t accept that alone means lonely, because it doesn’t.

 

Putting your ability for happiness in the hands of a total stranger is a very dangerous idea. Not only are you already being needy before you’ve even met your future mate, you are discounting your own capabilities. You are capable of happiness and completeness on your own. It’s not an easy mental wall to break, but being aware of the wall is a good way to start. From the time I showed any interest in boys in the first grade, my father would say something to me that still helps me put the single epidemic in perspective - “a girl without a boy is like fish without a bicycle!” How elementary, but how easy to forget… You are enough on your own!

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