I have a basic philosophy for women who are dating that I outline in my book, "Why He Disappeared". It's called mirroring. Basically, it means you don't do anything unless he does it first. You don't call. You don't text. You don't make plans. If he doesn't make an effort, that just means he's not very motivated to be your partner. Case closed. Frankly, I find mirroring to be close to foolproof. But nothing in life is perfect. It's entirely possible that you can "do nothing" (as I advocate), and the man pulls away, saying "you don't make enough of an effort for me". Is that possible? Sure. But that doesn't mean that you should stop mirroring.
Let’s say you wanted to lose 10lbs. You’ve read every diet book and every woman’s magazine under the sun and conclude that the simplest way to go about this would be to: eat smaller portions, eat healthier foods, and get to the gym three times a week for cardio. You do exactly that. For one month, you’re a dieting machine (with the occasional dark chocolate and red wine indulgence, of course.) To measure your progress, you get on the scale. You weigh the exact same thing that you did four weeks ago. Does this mean that you SHOULDN’T eat smaller, healthier portions and hit the treadmill regularly? Of course not. It might mean that there’s something else you can tweak, but the basic principles of dieting remain true, regardless of their results.
Mirroring a man’s efforts isn’t nearly as scientific as dieting, of course, but I think it’s pretty hard to contradict this principle: Men do what they want to do. If he wants to call you, he’ll call you. If he wants to see you, he’ll see you. If he wants to commit to you, he’ll commit to you. And if he doesn’t do all of those things, he’s not really a suitable boyfriend, now, is he? Furthermore, the men who need YOU to call THEM are pretty much like women themselves. Seriously. Any guy who sends a text to tell you that he doesn’t hear from you enough, it must be over isn't much of a man. I dated my wife for a year and a half before proposing and I don’t think she initiated contact with me once in that time. It’s not because she was playing games. It’s because she knew that if I wanted to talk to her, I’d call her.
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