Asked by LoveInLA on
Is he "just not into me" or am I over-analyzing?
I met a guy through online dating about 2 weeks ago. Before we met up for our first date, we talked every day on the phone for a week (he was out of town on business) because we had great over-the-phone chemistry. Our first date went great, except I noticed he never once said that I "looked nice" - although, he was constantly making physical contact like touching my leg or hand, and even kissed me at the end of the night. (Just as a sidenote, I actually model part time for a living. It was very strange to not hear a single compliment the whole night and I was concerned perhaps my "look" wasn't his type.) When we said goodnight, he tried to make plans to see me again, and even texted me later "see you again soon" when I txted him to say thank you.
This was Sunday night. Oddly enough, I didn't hear from him again until Thursday via text ("How was your week? I just got back in town.") Normally, I wouldn't think too much of this, but since we'd talked daily up until our first date, the 3-4 day gap was a noticeable silence (especially when I noticed he'd had time to go online during that time and make a few changes to his profile). I assumed then that he wasn't into me, assumed he was playing the field, and didn't respond to the text. I figured if he really wanted to, he could just call me like he normally did the week before.
Since then, I've noticed that he's checked my profile online twice. But I haven't heard from him. What gives? Did he like me and I just over-analyzed and then over-reacted? Or, was he playing the field and just wanted to keep me around after putting in all that effort to pursue the first date? Or did he simply just not really like me so much in person?
And depending on all that, what should I do now? Help! =( I'm so confused.
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I don't know how "physical" he was on your first date, but if it was a lot maybe he was just hoping you'd be easy to get into the sack and when it turned out that you weren't he lost interest because he was only interested in sex to begin with. It's sad but there are a lot of online daters that are only looking for an easy lay out there. However, you could be right that he is simply dating a lot of other women and doesn't really have that much time to get back to you but I would take that as a sign that he isn't really all that into you. If the first date went good and he really liked you, he wouldn't take so long to get back to you. He'd be excited to go out with you again and that's clearly not the case here. Whether it was that he was looking for an easy lay or that he found he really just wasn't that into you, the fact is that he's not putting in as much effort as before and that's a sign he's not as interested.