Photo: Trendsetter Images / Shutterstock
Online dating is just as hard as real-life dating.
By Melissa Noble — Last updated on Jun 21, 2023
Just when you thought you'd all but mastered the complicated art of real-world flirting — the Internet comes along and opens its scary and confusing jaws to a whole new checklist of proper etiquette.
Savvy online-dating women have learned to filter through the stream of floating heads, "wasssups!" and winks until we find someone worthy of a meet-up.
If your newest online crush falls into any of the below, it might be time to throw him back into the online ocean.
Here are 5 big online dating red flags women look for:
1. A picture-less profile
This is like a red flag on a red stick, waved by a chorus of red-painted people. Anyone who doesn't have a picture is either heinous, married or in a committed relationship.
Please don't waste your precious minutes finding out which. Sure they may sing a sad tale of recently purchased computers, digital cameras that went for a swim, and how they've been "too busy" but c'mon, this is online dating
. Your pictures are the stovetop in your metaphorical kitchen. The same goes for the guy who has a series of pictures that are out of focus or of objects instead of himself. Sure he might be artsy, but he also might just have a wife.
2. A skeleton-like vital stats department
There's something to be said for being a little mysterious in your "About Me" sections. We aren't huge fans of online daters who overshare. We'd like something witty, pithy, and to the point when we're culling potential dates — not the first chapter of a memoir.
That being said, it's fishy when guys won't fill in simple stats like "height" or "body type."
What are they hiding? Also, beware of the guy who is just looking for "friends." This may seem less threatening at first, but these types often bore you with long texts about themselves and no mention of meeting up.
3. "Winking" but not texting
We basically ignore winks. We view them as double-takes on the street.
It's nice to know someone thinks you're cute, but if he doesn't have the balls to string together a message, he's not worth your time.
4. Long delays when responding to texts
Busy. We're all busy. Busy, busy. But if someone is seriously excited about getting to know you and turning this into a real-life encounter versus just a way to waste time online, be very wary of the person who allows more than two days to slide without responding.
Vacations away from computers aside, more likely than not he has his hands full with other girls. When and if he does come back, it's probably because the others fell through and you were his fifth or sixth choice. You were the "she wasn't all that bad, I guess" fallback. Yeah. Not really the kind of love story you want to tell your children one day.
5. You have to be the one to suggest a meet-up
A first message is great. A follow-up message with no mention of a meet-up? OK. But if you've completed three rounds and he still hasn't even hinted at seeing you then it might be time to end this quasi-flirt session.
As tempting as it may be to take matters into your own hands and suggest coffee or something, we follow the same set of rules for online dating as we do real-world dating.
Wait for him to ask you out. It may sound silly or old-fashioned, but whenever we've had to be the aggressor we've scored artful excuses or "hey buddy!" gestures that make us feel so much less hot than we actually are. And who has time for that?
More for You:
Melissa Noble is a freelance writer and blogger who writes about love, relationships, and trending news stories.