Are you ready to live together? It's as easy as these six, simple steps.
You've been dating for months now. You've become great friends; you care deeply for one another; you're sexually exclusive, mutually in love and nearly inseparable. It just seems like the natural next step is to ask him to move in with you.
He may already be thinking about how nice it would be to just live at your place. Alternatively, the proposition might send him running for the hills. So, it pays to be careful. Like a simple golf shot, you just have to tee it up first and then take a swing.
1. Have him leave some things there. He's there a few nights a week anyway, so he needs a toothbrush and a towel in the morning. Have him bring one over. Or, better yet, leave a nice new toothbrush just like he has at home next to yours in the holder with a little red bow around it. He'll see it in the morning and appreciate the gesture.
Chances are good his bath towels are thread bare and dingy, so put out a nice plush one right next to yours on the towel rack so he doesn't feel like a guest. Have him bring his mouthwash, deodorant and razors over, too, and give him a drawer in the vanity or some shelf space in the medicine cabinet.
If he comes there after work, have him leave his dress shirt and give him one of your oversized tee-shirts to wear home. Then, the following week, when he says he has to go home because he works the next day, you can tell him there is a clean and pressed shirt in the closet for him. No need to go.
2. Give him a key. There will be some occasion when you need him to run over to your place when you're not there, so find a reason and give him a key. Maybe you need him to feed the cat or water the plants when you're out of town, or perhaps you just want him to swing by and pick up your comfortable shoes so he can get you from work and go right to dinner at your mom's house.
Next time he rings the bell when he comes to get you, just holler for him to let himself in. Let him get used to using the key.
3. Call it home. Start referring to your place as "home." At the end of the date, say "Let's go home." Men like a comfortable home, and chances are your place is a lot neater and more comfortable than his. For a man in love, the one thing that really makes a place home is you.
4. Get him to stay there more and more often. He doesn't want to leave your side on a cold winter night, trudge through snow, and brush off his car. A trip across town when he's tired is a hassle no matter what the weather is like.
So get him to stay, and tell him to pick up enough work clothes for two or three days after work and come back again. If you can get him staying there on work nights, you’re halfway there.
5. Get him invested in the household. Let him do some handyman repairs around the place, have him help pick out some paint for the bedroom and let him help you paint. Set up an area somewhere where he can work from his laptop or play video games. Get NFL Ticket on DirecTV, and keep a twelve pack of beer in the fridge.
Get him used to helping himself to a beverage, cooking a meal or even taking a quick shower. Let him serve you sometimes too, and just let him make himself at home. Put a fun picture of the two of you on the mantle, and let him add a few trappings of his man cave where they won’t detract from your décor.
6. Make a practical appeal. Men are practical creatures, and if he's practically living there anyway, maybe it would make sense for him to move the rest of his things there. He's using his place less and less, and you're both committed to the relationship for the foreseeable future. Toss the idea out there as a no-brainer passing thought and see how he reacts.
If he balks, respond like it's no big deal. You were just trying to be practical. You could both save some money and be together more often. He could help you with some things around the house, and you have a nice washer and dryer he can use (or you can help him with his laundry, if you like).
You want to keep it a balanced kind of deal, so don't promise too many household services. There are certainly ways to make the move a win-win situation. Playing house is not only practical and a lot of fun, but it also gives the two of you the opportunity to see if there is room for more growth in your relationship. You want to make sure you both are ready for this step, but it should seem natural and not like a huge upgrade in your commitment. If you take a month or two to set it up, it might just seem like a nice comfortable baby step your man can't refuse.