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4 Skills You Need Before Getting Married

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4 Skills You Need Before Getting Married [EXPERT]
A happy couple is the key to a happy marriage.
Before you got a driver's license, you learned to drive. Before marriage, learn these 4 skills.

Before someone gets a driver's license, they take a drivers ed course, practice with the help of an experienced driver, and closely study the rulebook. These are all valuable things to do, because driving without the necessary skills would make someone a menace on the roads, and a danger to themself and others.

The same thought process applies to marriage, as well. Before getting a marriage license, people must learn how to do the high-skills activity that partnership requires. Otherwise, couples are at risk for intense fighting, and launching a marriage that's at risk from the outset. Engaged? 4 Ways To Tell Whether Your Marriage Will Work

More from YourTango: 5 (Actual) Signs Your Guy Is Ready For Marriage

Where can folks find out about marriage ed courses? The website SmartMarriages.org lists many courses available in every state.

Reluctant to leave home for a class? No problem. Try my online marriage education communication skills program, PowerOfTwoMarriage.com.

Multiple research projects have clearly established that couples who learn marriage skills have the highest odds of enjoying a long-lasting and gratifying partnership. If you are spending time and energy on a wedding, it makes sense to ensure that the marriage that follows will be a successful one. 5 Wedding Planning Pointers For A Successful Marriage

What are the main skill areas you need? In PowerOfTwoMarriage.com we teach these four skill areas:

1. Emotional self-regulation. Young children often get mad, cry, or even hit their siblings. Adults, on the other hand, mostly live their lives in the calm zone. The good news is that adults who get overly emotional, (especially with anger), can learn how to overcome their anger tendencies. If you find that you raise your voice and get mad more than once every several months, or get so mad that you say and do hurtful things, you've got some important learning to do.

More from YourTango: 10 Signs Your Guy Is Definitely In Love With You

2. Communication. Talking tactfully, especially when the issue is something that distresses you, and listening in a way that sustains cooperation, are essential to any marriage. Talking in a way that's complaining, critical, or otherwise hurtful will get you in serious marriage trouble. Dismissing what your partner says, negating what you hear with "but", or ignoring instead of digesting what you hear, is sure to cause extreme marital woes.

More advice for couples from YourTango:

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Susan Heitler, Creator Of "Power Of Two Marriage"

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Susan Heitler, Ph.D.

www.TherapyHelp.com and PowerOfTwoMarriage.com

Location: Denver, CO
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anger Management, Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Dr. Susan Heitler, creator of "Power of Two Marriage":

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