Is it ever okay for married men to watch adult films?
While we might expect teenage boys to stash dirty magazines under their beds, the same cannot be said about grown men in committed relationships. But what if you found out your boyfriend or husband had a dirty little sex secret hiding on his computer? Would you feel betrayed to learn that his teenage habit had extended into his adulthood? Does Monogamy Really Work — Or We All Just Kidding Ourselves?
In this instructional sex video, licensed psychotherapist, author and YourTango Expert Dr. Tammy Nelson discusses what to do if you ever find yourself in this situation. First, she says, it's normal to feel betrayed by your partner's pornography. The trick is to hone in on what about his habit bothers you, and then discuss it with him directly. For example, maybe you just don't like that he hid it from you. If he'd been open and honest, you'd have no problem at all. Or, perhaps it's more than that. Perhaps you feel that watching pornography is equivalent to infidelity. Whatever it is, it's important to share your thoughts and feelings with him so that at least you're on the same page.
The next step is to set some new ground rules for the relationship. Is it imperative that you share all fantasies with one another, or is it okay to have some privacy when it comes to sexual desire? Share your needs with him and encourage him to share his with you. That way, you're bound to find some common ground.
Want to learn more? Check out the video above.