Online Dating: Luck Or Work?


online dating
It's time to get over your doubts about online dating!
... a little bit of one & a lot of the other!

People have a love-hate relationship with online dating. If they go on a couple good dates, they love it. A couple bad dates in one week? Not so much love. And then there are the people who are too afraid to give it a shot at all.

I always tell the cynics, if you meet the love of your life online, you may not have the best "how we met" story, but you won't care. You'll just be happy that you met each other at all! The Secret To Successful Online Dating

I always knew that the right guy was out there for me, but somehow I hadn't seemed to find him though friends, work or school. So I decided to join an online dating site, which is now the second most common way for singles to meet. I had dabbled in the past over the course of a few years, even having some short relationships come out of it. This time, though, I was going for it, full speed ahead.

Having an analytical background (I was an economist for over seven years before quitting to follow my passion of helping people with online dating), I thought it would be fun to experiment. If I switch my main profile picture, do I get more responses? If I send a long vs. short e-mail, are men more likely to get back to me? I even kept a spreadsheet tracking my response rate. I found some interesting results, but the people at OKCupid took it even further, analyzing their data to see which messages get the most responses. The results are fascinating. Why Your Online Dating Profile Doesn't Work

I went on date after date and I always tried to maintain a positive attitude. However, after hearing, "What do you do for a living?" for the 100th time, it's tempting to just make something up, like, "I'm a hand model." And then finally, in December of 2009, after 120 or so dates, I walked into the bar and met Jeremy—my last online date. We've been happily together ever since.

When people tell me, "You're so lucky you found Jeremy," I have to laugh a little. It's true! I'm extremely lucky for having met such a wonderful guy ... but was it luck or work that led me to him? I'd venture to say a little of one, a lot of the other.

Online dating is no cake walk, which many people don't realize. They think they can just throw a profile up (and not even a good one at that) and wait. That's like expecting to lose weight simply by signing up for the gym. That's just not how it works. I also realized that most people don't actually want to put in the work, which is how I hatched the idea for my business, A Little Nudge. I give people a little nudge (or a big push?) in their online dating lives because I truly think it's an amazing way to meet people.

The naysayers, of course, will always have their complaints: Why You Should Take Your Chances When Online Dating

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Erika Ettin

Dating Coach

Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, helping people find success in online dating and getting them excited about its possibilities.  Erika truly loves what she does, from profile-writing to planning dates, and is excited to help people find happiness... online. 

A Little Nudge has recently been featured on WUSA9 News, News Channel 8, Fox News, JMag (JDate's online magazine), and AskMen.  Read her blog for more fun and useful dating tips.  

Connect with Erika to get the nudge you need in online dating by joining her newsletter.

Location: Washington, DC
Credentials: MBA
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Erika Ettin:

Making Love On Snow Days


I usually put my articles with the themes of "winter" or "snow" on hold after about February 15th, but considering when I look outside, all I see is white (well, and yellow where my dog decided to go...), I figured it couldn't hurt to write one (hopefully) last article having to do with dating and the snow. (If you're on the East ... Read more

A Little Number Can Hold A Lot Of Weight


When I left Fannie Mae in March of 2011, I thought my days of analyzing credit scores were over.  I had to pore through spreadsheet after spreadsheet of credit data, among other financial data, to assess whether the borrower would likely be able to pay back his or her mortgage or instead default on it, which would put the burden back on Fannie Mae.  ... Read more

If Eva Longoria Were To Online Date


Stars, they’re just like us.  They buy their groceries on Sundays, they order take-out Thai food on the way home from the gym, they have to remove their shoes when going through airport security at LAX… and they do online dating!?! A story came out recently saying that, after some friends started a successful relationship on, Eva ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Cocktail Lady

Pick The Right Guy Why Hot Guys Don't Last

How to tell the difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Last Night. Find out when you're getting warm.

Gay Dating

7 Things I've Learned About Men As a Matchmaker

You'll be surprised to see which myths about men have been busted!

Spa Retreat

The Pursuit of Peace

Peace is a journey not a destination. It represents a gift you give yourself.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>