Online dating strike terror in your heart? Surprise...that is good news!
“I will never join an online dating site.”
“Online dating is for losers, geeks and weirdos.”
“You can’t trust what people say about themselves online.”
Blah, blah, bleeping blah.
Ladies if you are still single and hold any of these attitudes, I have one thing to say to you:
LET GO and Dive IN!
The internet is here to stay and if you are FEARFUL about it, you are missing a ginormous opportunity to blast through to a new level of self confidence.
If you have been saying no to online dating because it makes your skin crawl, I know how you feel. But I also know that there are terrific men out there. Truly high quality fabulous potential partners just waiting for YOU to stop letting your Goblin separate you from your soul’s destiny.
In my best selling book, The Map: Finding the Magic and Meaning in Your Life, I take you from daydreaming about creating a new life for yourself to actually taking action and getting real results by finding and following the clues set into place before you breathed your first breath.
If you feel discouraged and demoralized with your lack luster love life and yet online dating TERRIFIES you, it is critical that you accept that terror as a road marker on your Map. Your Goblin, that wounded part of your ego that controls the fear switch in your gut, wants you to pull off and camp out in the Fearville instead of just passing through on your way to your destiny.
You have choices when it comes to how you follow your Map and you don’t have to stay in Fearville any longer than necessary. You see, at its core, fear is actually a positive emotion. Your brain controls your fight or flight triggers so that you are protected from real or perceived threats...with emphasis on perceived.
If a car cuts you off in traffic or a man follows you out of a club, your instincts take over and you react. This is a good thing. But, if you are over reacting to relatively minor challenges and feel the edges of terror, then chances are you are running from your fear instead of facing it to see if it even makes sense.
Imagine how different your life could be if you you weren’t so intimidated and fearful of new experiences? Imagine having the courage to look your fear right in the eye and conquer it instead of hiding from it.
What if you have a mission, hidden in your deepest self---your soul, that has the potential to bring your True Love to you in a way you would never pick for yourself. And what if the path to that True Love goes right through Fearville? Would you go forward?
Here are 5 reasons why stepping right into fear is the short path to love.
1. The survival instinct that is biological and on auto pilot in your body is in need of a major reset. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between a truly life-threatening situation and what you THINK might be threatening. Each time fear comes, you have the chance to make a conscious decision....is this life threatening or not.
2. If you believe that fear is bad and to be avoided at all costs, that same fear grows into a Goblin. Continual fear feeds your Goblin who then takes control and as a prisoner to it’s whims, you stay stuck, single and unhappy.
3. Your future partner has his own fears and over reactions, misperceptions and yes, his own Goblin. Without addressing your own fears, the two of you will mirror fear back and forth to one another in a crazy cycle of pain.
4. The biggest lie your Goblin whispers to you is that you are the only one who is as scared as you are. Ha! Everyone struggles with fear. When you hide your fears it is the height of self deception. And no one will push your buttons better than your soul mate. It is designed that way. Growth comes from conscious choosing, in spite of fearful reactions.
5. When Fear is controlling your mind, you are cut off from your Inner Wisdom, your god-given guidance. Your body is literally frozen inside, the flow of wisdom and love cut off from your consciousness. Loving and accepting your Goblin, embracing those broken parts of yourself needing love and healing opens you to the truth of who you really are.
Personally, I love when my clients whine about online dating. I frequently challenge them to get themselves a profile and simply use the ‘terror’ they feel to doctor their hearts. Seriously, simply looking through profiles can trigger strong reactions.
When you stand in those strong reactions and fearful feelings and tell yourself the truth that there is nothing life threatening here, you will disarm your Goblin. Practice saying things like:
“ I am not in danger, I am fine.” “ I wonder why I am over reacting.” “Even though I am fearful, I am willing to look underneath the fear to unearth clues to my happiness.” And of course, one of my faves from Louise Hay always soothes: “In this moment, I am safe and all is well.”
PS.. I met my husband online ... so there are amazing men on there !! You just have to believe you are ready to meet that person.. and let Spirit do the maneuvering. If you don't dive in, you won't catch the fish!
Ever wondered if YOU could be a Master Intuitive Coach? Do you want to use the Map to coach your clients? For the latest information about the Master Intuitive Coach® Institute- an integrative coaching system that offers students a unique and satisfying holistic experience helping others achieve their dreams while creating their own, click here: http://masterintuitivecoachinstitute.com