Listen up, ladies...
Ah, the sex-and-run. For some, it's like being the victim of a crime.
Like the hit-and-run, the sex-and-run catches you totally off guard. It often involves alcohol or drug use by one or both parties. It usually happens after dark and much more quickly than you'd ever imagine. One minute you're talking, ignoring anything but the moment, with your guard down. The next, it's like something creeps up on you.
Of course, men can be victims, too. But most who suffer from this phenomenon are females. They're often on first dates with guys who look better after the second martini. Popular locations include dorm rooms, hotel rooms, frat houses and penthouses. Indeed, this "crime" doesn't discriminate against age, race, religion, gender or class.
The actual intercourse can happen when you're really hoping for it or when you're feeling about as sexy as a granny-panty-wearing woman on her period. The sex is hopefully always consensual, but the consequences never are.
You didn't agree to a one-night stand! You were kind of, sort of dating this person, or at least hoping to.
The perpetrator — as your mother could tell you — acted in quite the predictable fashion. He "loved you and left you," or "hit it and quit it." At best, you enjoyed it; at the absolute worst, you're wondering if you have an STD. Maybe you want to know where the damn guy disappeared to, when he left, or how you didn't hear him. But don't get too stressed about the latter; most men who commit the sex-and-run are repeat offenders.
Would you like to never be victimized again? Chances are, if you're looking for a long-term relationship or marriage, you would. My number one tip for avoiding the sex-and-run? No sex on the first date.
Although there are fabulous exceptions to the rule, having sex on the first date generally will not take you to the altar. It may take you to exciting places that you'd like to go again and again, but if your goal is to tie the knot, have a little discipline and put your sex drive in check.
This article was originally published at Conversextion. Reprinted with permission from the author.