Are you one of those girls who has the classic track record of dating a guy for years only to have him marry his next girlfriend within months? You're not alone. There are so many women who are scratching their heads right along side of you. You probably have a girlfriend who gets proposals all the time, and she perplexes you. You swear you're hotter than her, make more money than her, and you're definitely more proactive about your love life ... so what's the problem? As a matchmaker, I can spot the girls that men want to marry from a mile away. Don't lose hope, though, because that girl can be you, with a different guy, and a brand new attitude.
Here's some reasons why the ultimate commitment may be eluding you:
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1. You've lost respect for yourself. You're sure that in order to get the guy, you've got to give it all up, all at once. Ladies, do not have sex unless you're in an exclusive relationship, and don't be the one to ask for the exclusive relationship. Men want to spend their lives with a women who has enough respect for herself to be selective - not picky. They'll be attracted to you first, but respect you later, as long as you respect yourself. Sell yourself out, and believe it or not, you'll disappoint him!
2. You don't have enough confidence. Our confidence levels eb and flow throughout our lives. We're all the most attractive when we're the most confident and the least clingy. Have the confidence to identify when he's not going to marry you, and move on. It's OK! It's not a huge blow to who you are since you should both be available for the right situation and person to come into your life.
3. You're making excuses for him. The most desperately unmarried women I know are the ones that spend the most time analyzing "strange behavior" by their dates. If you're trying to decide how he really feels, it's not there, and it's probably not going to be. Men typically decide very early in a relationship if a woman is worth settling for. If he's not exhibiting strong exclusive tendancies early on, chances are good that he may keep you around in the interim, but he's not going to "put a ring on it."
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4. You're ignoring what he's saying to you. Is your guy making comments about how "Marriage ruins relationships", "Marriage Sucks", "I don't believe in marriage", etc? He's not going to marry you. Men who would consider marrying the woman they're with at some point don't say things like that (not to her!). If that's what you want, lovingly let him go so you and he can both find someone more compatible.
5. You're creating drama for no good reason. Women are funny that way ... When things seem ambiguous, they'll often stir it up for sport. Guess what? If you feel the need to create drama to get a reaction, chances are good that you're not getting the kind of attention that a man who's going to marry you would give. Not to mention, once you get that drama going, he's not going to rush you down the aisle.