Maybe it's time to sit down in a neutral place (like a coffee shop or park) and really express to him (with out laying any blame) how you feel each time you are denied intimacy. Ask him what you all can do to help make things better in the bedroom. Sadly, when a couple stops enjoying sexual intimacy it starts to affect the rest of the relationship and once someone gets bitter and resentful it's much harder to bring things back to the way they were berfore.
If it's something he doesn't yet feel comfortable talking to you about, urge him to talk to his doctor, who can refer to him to the proper person once he has an idea about what's going on.
I hope that someone here has brought you an answer and I hope things bet better for you!
You are simply not the woman he married. You've grown emotionally, you feel great about yourself, you look fabulous and it's overwhelming to him. In his own passive-aggressive way, he's diminishing your success by rejecting you in the place where you need acceptance and you need him to embrace YOU. Fundamentally, you're the same person, but he's very insecure and intimidated by what you've evolved into. Suddenly, he feels threatened whereas before he didn't. He was comfortable and secure that you would not change. (Foolish man). Now you're a head-turner.
If you can understand that his "lack of interest" is really a deep-seeded fear of his, then you can probably work this through with a good therapist. Inside, he just "knows" you're going to either leave him, or have an affair- it's almost as if he's setting you up to do this to validate what his fears are.
You can TRY to talk to him about this, but it feels like he doesn't communicate true emotions or feelings to you. And, it would take an act of God to get him to admit that he's afraid and fearful. (Pride goeth before a fall).
I hope that this may provide you with SOME insight. The other thought is maybe just don't try so hard. A gentle touch here and mostly there (if you catch my drift) can work wonders- without all the bells and whistles.
In my experience, how much a husband wants sex has more to do with his mood than his wife's appearance. If he is worried about anything (work, the value of your house, the economy?) if he is tired, or if anything bad has happened lately, he's not going to be as interested in sex. Try helping him feel less worried and more relaxed. Do fun things together.
Most of all talk to him. Find out how things are going with him.
Ask him what he thinks of various things people do in bed to find out what he is interested in. Then you can try to do what he is most interested in.
The other thing to think about is whether he might be anxious about his ability to perform sexually. He might not want to tell you, though. Praise him whenever you can.
One final, possibly weird thought - do you think he might be feeling unattractive? I don't know if guys are ever like women on this, not wanting sex because they don't feel attractive enough.
Smart Talk About...
Sexual Frustration!
Maybe it's time to sit down in a neutral place (like a coffee shop or park) and really express to him (with out laying any blame) how you feel each time you are denied intimacy. Ask him what you all can do to help make things better in the bedroom. Sadly, when a couple stops enjoying sexual intimacy it starts to affect the rest of the relationship and once someone gets bitter and resentful it's much harder to bring things back to the way they were berfore.
If it's something he doesn't yet feel comfortable talking to you about, urge him to talk to his doctor, who can refer to him to the proper person once he has an idea about what's going on.
I hope that someone here has brought you an answer and I hope things bet better for you!
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Login or sign up now - it's fun, easy, and free. We'll keep your seat warm for you!You are simply not the woman he married. You've grown emotionally, you feel great about yourself, you look fabulous and it's overwhelming to him. In his own passive-aggressive way, he's diminishing your success by rejecting you in the place where you need acceptance and you need him to embrace YOU. Fundamentally, you're the same person, but he's very insecure and intimidated by what you've evolved into. Suddenly, he feels threatened whereas before he didn't. He was comfortable and secure that you would not change. (Foolish man). Now you're a head-turner.
If you can understand that his "lack of interest" is really a deep-seeded fear of his, then you can probably work this through with a good therapist. Inside, he just "knows" you're going to either leave him, or have an affair- it's almost as if he's setting you up to do this to validate what his fears are.
You can TRY to talk to him about this, but it feels like he doesn't communicate true emotions or feelings to you. And, it would take an act of God to get him to admit that he's afraid and fearful. (Pride goeth before a fall).
I hope that this may provide you with SOME insight. The other thought is maybe just don't try so hard. A gentle touch here and mostly there (if you catch my drift) can work wonders- without all the bells and whistles.
In my experience, how much a husband wants sex has more to do with his mood than his wife's appearance. If he is worried about anything (work, the value of your house, the economy?) if he is tired, or if anything bad has happened lately, he's not going to be as interested in sex. Try helping him feel less worried and more relaxed. Do fun things together.
Most of all talk to him. Find out how things are going with him.
Ask him what he thinks of various things people do in bed to find out what he is interested in. Then you can try to do what he is most interested in.
The other thing to think about is whether he might be anxious about his ability to perform sexually. He might not want to tell you, though. Praise him whenever you can.
One final, possibly weird thought - do you think he might be feeling unattractive? I don't know if guys are ever like women on this, not wanting sex because they don't feel attractive enough.
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