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Lyz Married Community Manager
Posted March 27, 2009

I agree with BookMama. It goes without saying that we are all attracted to the random attractive person. But what would bother me is not that my DH sometimes looked at a nice butt or cleavage, but that he felt like he had to point it out. What is the point in pointing it out if not to validate something, some feeling or emotion or to incite some sort of reaction?

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benbree Married You remain only human
Posted March 27, 2009

Hi Lyz,

As always you get right to the point. I am sure I wanted to make my wife aware of how I felt. The reason for my post here is to get feedback from others. Most of us go through life assuming that either we are unique or just like everyone else. I want to validate this and Your Tango is a good place to do it.

benb

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BookMama Married Happily Married
Posted March 27, 2009

I think most people have thoughts like that. Whether or not you should tell your partner depends on how they feel about hearing it from you.

I don't think anyone else can know what exactly you were trying to tell your wife with your comment. If you are thinking seriously about having an affair, I would suggest trying to get marriage counseling first.

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benbree Married You remain only human
Posted March 27, 2009

BookMama,

You make a good point. I said what I said to my wife because it is what ai felt - no planned affair or unplanned affair for me. The reason for the post and all post here is to hear from those who have similar experiences and to hear how they handled it. While you state that you think most folks have thought like this, few people really talk about these feelings. I believe this is what leads to the affair and if it is discussed it explains the reason the wife stands silently by the man who the rest of world believes betrayed her.

benb

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