Dear Dr. Romance,
A small percentage of men and women — under 5 percent — meet the criteria for full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but a much higher number of people have narcissistic traits. If you find yourself dating someone who is narcissistic, the summary version involves you feeling frustrated, angry and hurt. Check out the telltale signs.
Dealing with someone who's draining you dry? In a parasitic relationship? YourTango expert Margaret Jacobson shares insights gained from Albert Bernstein's, book "Emotional Vampires".
First, I would like you to know that when I say "abuser" in the above title, I am not be talking about obvious abuse, as in, physical violence or yelling and screaming. Passive/aggressive abuse can be just as deadly and is actually more used by people who are more advanced in the arena of... "charm"... that I will speak of in this article.
Narcissistic Personalities & Sociopaths Conscience is a type of judgment, that tells us what is right and wrong. It begins in early childhood, when (hopefully) parents teach a child what he can or cannot do (beginning with "no!"), then gradually how to tell right from wrong. Conscience-building continues in Sunday School, regular school and within the family and the neighborhood. We learn what's right and wrong on a personal level, a spiritual level, and a social level -- if we wrong our friends, they leave us.
[Note: In this article, I speak as a masculine man in relationship to feminine women. Please adjust the gender terms to suit your relationship life.] In previous articles, I described narcissism as an extreme form of selfishness. But narcissism goes beyond mere self-interest. It’s more akin to egotism — an excessive or exaggerated sense of self-importance. In the extreme, a narcissist exists alone at the center of his (or her) known universe.
Dear Dr Romance: I hope you will be able to provide me with an insight. I was in a relationship with a man I genuinely loved and wanted future with. Our relationship was lovely to start with but after a few months problems started to emerge: another woman told me he was in a relationship with her and my trust was broken.
I recently went to see the new Disney movie "Oz the Great and Powerful." You see, as a psychologist and author of the book Follow the Yellow Brick Road: How to Change for the Better When Life Gives You Its Worst, I took a special interest in this film. In my book, I devote an entire chapter to the concept of the wizard, and it is through this lens that I warn my clients to watch out; the wizard will wreck your relationship.
A narcissist may come across as arrogant and selfish. They undermine others to inflate their own sense of self. They truly believe that the world revolves around them. People and things are there for them to use when and if they please. They are unable to show true empathy for others, which make it difficult to maintain a loving, healthy relationship.
Does HBO have a monopoly on series centered around characters who suffer from narcissism? No, but the network sure has its share! There was Valerie Cherish (played by Lisa Kudrow) in "The Comeback," which my husband swears was cancelled because the character was too excruciating to watch. Now Amy Jellicoe (Laura Dern) is creating chaos in "Enlightened," with rumors swirling of its cancellation because of poor ratings.
The Human Magnet Syndrome / The Introduction to the Book About 30 years ago, my dad joked (or so I thought was a joke): “The soul mate of your dreams is gonna become the cellmate of your nightmares.” It takes some of us decades to realize that our parents were actually a lot smarter than we gave them credit for. What I thought was just a flippant and cynical comment would later help to define my understanding of dysfunctional romantic relationships. I would never have guessed that my dad’s off-the-cuff remark would cont
People often ask me how they can know whether or not someone they are dating is REALLY open. "He seems open, but how can I know? My last guy seemed really open until we started living together and then he was always angry. I don't want that to happen again," said Kiera in a phone session. "Have you and your boyfriend had significant conflict yet?" "No, we've only been dating for two months."
News Flash: Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are divorcing. Many stories have indicated that Katie filed the divorce papers secretly, and Tom was blindsided with the news. Many people are asking why. While I don't know Katie and her reasons for using this tactic, I have talked to many women over the years and have witnessed multiple reasons to be secretive and careful when considering divorce.
Could we be expecting too much from people who might not be pre-disposed to "niceness"? A study reveals that niceness - and narcissism - might be in the genes. (http://bit.ly/IIIqXe) There is DNA associated with traits that relate to being giving, caring, and responsible. This discovery is affiliated with what Dr. Bonnie talks about in Make Up Don't Break Up, where a person who's loving and caring often has two specific hormones in their genes. Oxytocin - the cuddle hormone - and vasopressin - the risk-taking hormone.
I have been in a relationship with a narcissist for over four years. I didn't realize he was a narcissist until I began to feel as if I was losing my mind about two years ago and sought out therapy. The relationship, or lack thereof, began good, then got very bad and the cycle continued to get progressively worse and littered with emotional abuse.
In what’s being calling “breaking news” this week, Representative Anthony D. Weiner has confessed to online sexual communications with a woman other than his wife. He is, one of many men in the public eye whom have been caught sending provocative pictures, texts, webcams and video engaging in what I call sex on the download otherwise known as online sexual behaviors. The frequency of such events raises the question of what is the appeal of sex on the download when you are a high profile person?