What do you call the guy you've been seeing for the past few weeks? Because, as Big asked Carrie in the Sex and the City movie, when you're both adults, isn't he a little old to be your boyfriend? It sounds so, well, high school. In the spirity of maturation, YourTango has come up with ten alternate names to call your man.
A couple weeks ago I addressed the issue of a woman changing her name when she marries. I expressed that although I don't plan to change my name when I get hitched this summer, I respect and appreciate every woman's right to choose what's best for her. I reject the notion some have expressed that when a woman takes her husband's last name she's giving up her identity.
Changing your name is something we associate with getting married—should you keep your maiden name or take his name? But there’s another LoveStage that deals with shifting monikers as well—getting divorced. If you took your husband’s name when you married, you may want to slough off his name after the breakup. But what do you change it to?
The LoveFeed takes a look at the trend of men taking their wives last names. Are the times a-changin'?
I call my significant other, "my girlfriend." One of them anyway. The other one I call, "my husband." This language allows me to get away with a certain amount of ambiguity, to "pass" if you will. Once I say husband, it's assumed that, when I say "girlfriend," I'm using the Southern version of "friend who's a girl," no romance implied. But that's not what I mean. Nor do I mean anything dismissive or fleeting when I use that term. And so, I wonder, do I need a new word? If I do, what would it be? If not, what happens to a relationship that's not properly named?
When you marry, will you change your name? Hyphenate it? Make him take your name? If you're already married, ow did you decide? Although tradition dictates that women do take their husband's last names, it's a personal choice. Here, one woman describes her decision. "We've heard about our options and the inherent difficulties that go along with each. If we keep our names, our in-laws will hate us. If we hyphenate, no one will be able to alphabetize it properly; our medical records will be repeatedly lost. If we take our husband's last name, we'll forever feel like a part of our identity was lost, which may or may not be a bigger problem than the missing medical records. We've certainly heard that making the choice sucks. Many of us spend hours weighing the options—even before we're engaged. We even go so far as to speculate about which celebrity brides will take their husband's last names. Are we hoping that their choices will somehow provide us a glimpse into a magical crystal ball and reveal a time in the future when this isn't so damn difficult?"
It's time to play the Name Game. We don't mean that old song from the 60s with the Frankie Frankie Bo Bankie Banana nana something or other routine. We mean the eternal question that faces every bride-to-be: So....are ya changing your name?
