I just wrote an article for YourTango.com, as part of their “Break Up With Your Ex” campaign. It got me thinking about how common it is for couples to break up but never really get over the relationship. They move out, but they don’t actually move on. How can you tell if you’ve moved on from a past love? Ask yourself these three things.
Someone famous once said, "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice." That's easy to remember when life is good, but it's more important to remember when you're faced with a challenge, especially when that challenge is in your romantic relationship, when the tendency is to shut down or go on the attack. I've tried both of those tactics and I wouldn't recommend them if the relationship is important to you.
I’m stepping into a bigger, more sparkly pair of big girl shoes today. For the last month I’ve been trying to figure out how to “package” my dual- and seemingly unrelated- message of love and abundance. I tried being clever and coming up with a cool acronym. I actually came up with a really cool one for peace (Personal Empowerment and Community Engagement- wouldn’t that create peace?) but couldn’t easily assign that any relevance to my work.
I always say that sexy is an attitude, not a dress size. Realistically, I know that for most women, it’s easier to feel good about yourself when you feel good about your physical body. I call this thinking, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” It's the kind of thinking that keeps people stuck in lots of areas of their lives.
There are many reasons we get into relationships and the real reason is almost never what we think it is. Instead, we feel we find that we have some things in common with the object of our attraction and we end up in a relationship. Then the proverbial "you-know-what" hits the fan and we feel like we've been duped when the real reasons come to the surface.
Our culture has a complicated relationship with sex. The story varies slightly depending on where you are in the country, but the basic idea is that it’s a little like watching a giant car crash: you feel guilty watching, you know you’re not supposed to be entertained, but secretly you find it thrilling. Even some of my most liberal, forward thinking friends have uncovered hidden beliefs that sex is shameful.
So, I just found out that today is National Coming Out Day. That makes me so happy! I have been a gay rights advocate since college, right around the same time I realized there was such a thing as gay. Coming out is about so many things: being honest with yourself and others, being true to who you really are, expecting to be loved and respected for who you really are, and learning to love yourself- all parts of yourself. In other words, we all could use a healthy dose of coming out.
You’ll want to sit down for this one: Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are heading for divorce. He allegedly cheated on Demi with a younger woman. In doing that (if if fact he really did), he joins a ridiculously long list of famous men who’ve cheated on their wives. Famous people are used to being the center of attention. This can be problematic when they are in a long term relationship, because couples in long term relationships eventually begin to take each other for granted. The familiar becomes mundane, which is a hard blow to those fragile egos. All egos are fragile, and the egos of famous people even more so. Yes, I’m generalizing here. But let’s face it, when everyone tells you how wonderful you are all the time except your wife (or husband), it does make you more susceptible than the average person to look for greener pastures.
I just read that this week is National Single Americans Week. Looking around, it's easy to see that Americans have a strong bias towards marriage. Tax laws and health care are just two examples of how the American system favors married people. The high number of divorced people who remarry, (some several times), shows how deeply ingrained into our culture the idea of marriage has become.