The post is called 'Marriage Isn't For You', and it's gotten 24 million views and counting. Basically, a dude says, "Look what I did! I realized I'm not the center of the world!" and he's catapulted to internet stardom and met with instant, widespread praise. But this isn't really about love; it's about control.
So now we know that Stephanie Smith — who told the world she's a mere 124 sandwiches away from an engagement ring — is actually embarrassed by the whole incident. She went on the Today Show and basically said, "Geez guys, it was a joke." And I'm saddened by that, because she backed down and surrendered her power. Here's why that sends the wrong message to her detractors — and why her 300 sandwiches ploy wasn't the disgrace to feminism that everyone's making it out to be.
If you're a single woman like me, I'm sure you've heard this refrain more than once: "But you're so smart/pretty/fun/great. Why aren't you married?" I have to admit I've puzzled over this for a while myself. At a certain age, odds are you're tempted to think it means there's something wrong with you. Well, it's time to put the pity party to an end and look at the facts. Love is a wonderful thing. But marriage isn't for everyone, and that's more than okay. Here's why.
It's pretty clear why men fantasize about being superheroes: they're strong, powerful and revered. It wasn’t until I allowed myself to be open, to be vulnerable, that I found I could enjoy the very thing a man wants to be—strong, masculine, confident. My hero. That to allow a man be what he strives to be doesn't take away from who I am or what I can do. And I know I'm not alone in this.
I find it very unsettling that we're more comforted by the notion that Huma is a heartless, self-serving, political mastermind than we are by the other option: that Huma knows her husband better than anyone, sees him for his flaws, for the pain he has caused and continues to cause her, and loves him anyway. Because that is just too hard for us to swallow.
Kate Taylor's piece in the New York Times, "Sex on Campus: She Can Play That Game Too", caused quite a stir by putting a sexy new slant on hook-up culture: It's women in control, not men, who are driving the trend. But hooking up cannot replace or come close to fulfilling the human need for real connection. It doesn't make us smarter, stronger or more in control to avoid connection and intimacy. It doesn't set us up to be better or happier than the women who came before us. It just sets us up to be disappointed in a different way.