When I walked into my local Brooklyn Starbucks one mid-December morning, I wasn't expecting to get a New Year's Eve date. But as a recently minted 33-year-old with chronic No Boyfriend Disease, I did have a goal. Not only to get caffeinated, but also to test out a few pick-up tricks from the dating how-to guide I was reading.
I confess: I'm an avid reader of the New York Times wedding announcements. I'm one of those people who religiously scans the Vows section every Sunday. I even watch the videos online. There's no better escape from my own banal reality than to read optimistic tales of romance that make me feel like we can all find a summa cum laude Harvard grad (who happens be descended from Thomas Jefferson) in our local bar. Whatever your level of interest in Vows, they're an institution. Enough so that there was a bit of an uproar lately when many of us opened up our Sunday papers to find a tale of infidelity leading the announcements.
What to do when you have that sinking feeling that yours is not the only pillow your man has been fluffing? When you listen to that Whitney Houston "It's Not Right, But It's OK" song and suddenly find yourself relating to it? Should you just ignore it? Or go Jessica Fletcher on his ass and start snooping around, looking for concrete clues and confirmation that his recent interest in personal hygiene and the number of times he "accidentally" forgets to turn his cell phone on are actually indicators that he's cheating on you?
I moved in last January. After bopping around between three crappy apartments within eight months I decided it made the most sense to shack up with my beau. I mean I was there 99 percent of the time anyway, it only made sense that I live there, right? However, my boyfriend had never lived with a girl, let alone in an apartment next to his Christian minister mom, who didn't exactly approve of shacking up before tying the knot. But her love for her son (and for his amazing girlfriend) outweighed her traditional values, and, with her blessing, I moved in.
As any girl in the dating world will tell you, you can tell pretty much all you need to know about a potential boyfriend from the house he keeps. We're not saying emotional maturity is reflected in one's furniture ... except, yeah, we kinda are. It's not about whether or not the guy has money; it's about whether or not he's learned to make his house a home without Mom's help. So, without further ado, we'd like to present 10 home goods that separate the men from the boys.
The holidays, and winter in general, are for couples. I swear, I'm not beating my usual "life is cruel for us singles" drum, because we pretty much own spring and summer. In winter, though, people pair off and disappear like the end of a key party, and we're of just left sitting there on the couch in our Fair Isle sweaters, wondering where everybody went.
We're always reading wedding announcements (shut up) about married couples who (shut up) fell in love after an unsuccessful first go-around. So, let's do a little investigative work and break this down. Hopefully we can see when it is and is not the right move to contact your potential hindsight soul mate again.
When I announced on my blog that I didn't believe in marriage, I expected the typical reactions: Don't you want a ring and proposal? (No.) Will you ever trust your partner's commitment to you? (Yes.) What about children? (What about them?) I got those questions, along with some comments in support of my views. But what I didn't quite anticipate was that a random commenter would insinuate my beliefs were "f**ked up" because of the way I was raised.
Brett and his future bride, Laura, met in college and began dating in 2009. He was studying to be a doctor, and she is studying to be a nurse. He was diagnosed several weeks into their relationship, and the news was obviously devastating.
Have you ever found yourself drawn to men who are completely wrong for you over and over again? You know, the type that is so pitifully self-destructive that you end up feeling maternal and savior-like, or the type that just thinks of himself and never you, or the type who never talks about his feelings but leaves you with the possibility that maybe one day he will? Dr. Lillian Glass calls these men toxic, and almost fifteen years after writing her hit book Toxic People, Dr. Glass is back with a follow-up specifically about those men in your life that you can't seem to get enough of—no matter how hard you try to steer clear.
