No Boyfriend, No Bling

Objectivity of My Affection

Last week, I wrote about my friend Amber's breakup and I mentioned how terrible her boyfriend was. But when the relationship first started, I thought he was great. I was thrilled to see her with a man who loved her and treated her like a princess. Then, the tides turned. By the end, the best thing that could be said about her ex was that he was nice, sometimes. But more often than not, he was rude, immature, stubborn, and completely disrespectful toward my girl.

Friends Don't Let Friends Break Up Alone

My friend Amber recently broke up with her boyfriend of four months. Even though they had only been together a short time, they moved at lightning speed and with the seriousness of a heart attack, so the breakup was dramatic, devastating—and 100% necessary, since he was terrible for her. When it ended, Amber and I had daily conversations about how she was doing and what she was thinking. In the span of a week, she went from heartbroken to sympathetic to wanting him back to downright angry. This man treated her like dirt, and I'm thrilled to have her in the pissed-off stage rather than pining after his love or feeling sorry for him. This is the first time I've gotten to apply my breakup experiences to help someone else, and I have to say, I'm glad they're coming in handy. I'm coaching Amber through the process and remembering what it was like for me during the first stages of my own breakup.

Never Say Never

About a month ago, I was on my lunch break at work when I bumped into a girl from my high school graduating class. In the midst of choosing a sandwich, I heard her voice behind me: "Michelle?" It turns out she also left our small Pennsylvania town and (like me) works in the magazine industry. What's more, her office is a block away from mine. We never really knew each other in high school, but since this is such a strange coincidence we're planning to get together soon and swap stories (namely: how the hell did she end up in almost exactly the same place as I did?). As if this blast from the past weren't enough, a long-gone ex-boyfriend of mine emailed me this week. The last time we spoke was probably four years ago, and since then I think he moved to Ohio to work in finance (I suppose I can ask him that if I return the email). He had found my blog online (hi Mr. Ex, if you're reading this…) and wanted to congratulate me.

Je Ne Sais Quoi

I love men. There's just something about them as a population that drives me crazy. Every once in a while, I'll see a man do something, say something, or act a certain way, and I fall in love with the Y chromosome all over again. One of the perks of having a serious boyfriend was being able to see all the wonderful 'man' things on a regular basis. From the sexy things, like watching him putting on a tie (oh yeah, it gets to me), to the sweet things, like him coming up from behind and wrapping me in his arms—they all just killed me. Even some seemingly boring things had me smitten. Shaving, for instance—don't ask me why, but I swear I could watch that man shave every day and never get bored.

Follow Your Nose

I think my nose is leading a mutiny against me. I'll go days without even a thought of Alex, and then all of a sudden I'll get a whiff of something that will bring back a flood of memories and interrupt my day. For example: While I was dressing for work earlier this week (in the record-breaking heat, I might add), I reached for my favorite warm-weather perfume. The same perfume I used to spritz on before summer dates with Alex last year. Needless to say, this was a bad idea.

Deal Or No Deal

Since I’m new to this whole “single” thing, I sometimes seek advice from my single friends. And almost all of them tell me they have deal breakers in their relationships. Whether it's something as big as never wanting to get married or as small as not liking the same music, anything can kill a relationship. According to my friends, once they learned what they can and can’t put up with, they streamlined the dating process by weeding out the bad apples quickly and efficiently. I seem to have missed this lesson in Dating 101. The words–“deal breaker”–are part of everyone’s lexicon but my own. I have standards, of course, but the things that would kill a relationship for me are more obvious than, say, “his car is old” or “I don’t like his cat.” For example, I refuse to date a smoker, and I steer clear of men who have bad breath or scratch themselves in public. But for the most part, I consider every romantic possibility in its own right.

To See Or Not To See

Last week, I wrote an album review for a band that Alex introduced me to a couple years ago. Even though he listened to them first, I quickly put the group's last few albums in my regular rotation and jumped at the chance to cover their most recent release. After the review went up online, I thought it'd be nice to tell Alex about it. After all, he suggested I listen to them in the first place. I've always believed in giving credit where credit is due. I sent him the link and he wrote me back the next day. He liked the review and suggested a couple of other bands I might want to check out, then filled me in on what's been happening in his life. It was a great email–a friendly reminder of why I liked him in the first place. He's a funny, genuinely good person who has great taste in music (among other things). But that, of course, doesn't mean our problems would all be magically fixed if we were to give it another shot. It just means he's a cool person.

Dig This

If you read Genevieve's post on growing a boyfriend yesterday, and you're still in the market for a "grow-your-own," we've found even more innovative ways to get your hands on Mr. Right. Actually, Kim Yarmuch has a solution: Her cheeky Man Seeds blossom into six different men, from a thinker (Philosopher Regularum) to a techie (Coolum Geekus)—and they’re only $2 each at manseeds.com. The idea hatched as a birthday joke, when Yarmuch gave homemade Man Seeds to A friend in need. "She was single, it was summer, and she was just a little down," she says. "Turns out lots of people get the joke and are willing to pay money for it."

5 White-Hot Wedding Trends

It’s your party—trash your dress if you want to! From incinerating gowns to re-creating scenes from Dirty Dancing for the first dance, couples are revamping the traditions of the big day. Green is the new black, after all. Here, five wedding day ideas worth their weight in candied almonds.