What I know now, but didn't then, is this: it's not enough for a couple to share sizzling chemistry; or a passion for growing heirloom tomatoes; or simply the determination that this one is The One, dammit. Other values must match up: values that never seem to matter when you've just taken up residence in the love shack.
Having a child irrevocably alters the balance of a partnership. The responsibility, time commitment and difficulty having baby is tough, no matter how strong your union; romance and sex after kids can be hard to accomplish. Although many couples decide the disruption is worth it, finding a new equilibrium can be challenging. Here, one mother comments on why she won't do it again. In her own words, "admitting that bringing a child into a relationship might ruin said relationship verges on the unpatriotic. Like most of us, I expect romance to survive marriage and committed cohabitation. I’m more dubious that it can survive raising a child."
