Most women don't realize that our borderline mania isn't very complicated: we simply like boobs—a lot. And we like them in pretty much all shapes and sizes.
When a man can't get it up, the experience for him and his partner falls somewhere between awkward and utterly mortifying—I've even heard of men not calling women back because they were so ashamed of their inability to keep it up. So what can a woman say or do when her man can't get an erection? Here are five things you can say to help make the best of the situation. Because men are so sensitive about it, and because it's about as embarrassing a moment as he can experience, it puts the woman in a really tough spot. Of course you just want to say, "Honey, is there something I can do to help?" But in some cases, that's exactly what he doesn't want to hear. He's thinking, "No, I'm just dying from the pressure here, and the last thing I want you to do is even notice, much less try to help!" Even worse is if you say, "Is there something wrong?" or "Are you okay?"—because, yes, there obviously is something wrong (you don't have to remind me!) and, no, I'm clearly not OK, I'm flaccid! So what can a woman say or do when her man can't rev up the engines? Here are a few possibilities, but know that any one of these can backfire too, depending on the circumstances. But, in order of most likely to go over well, here are five ways you can say to help make the best of the situation.
Last week I suggested some places to meet men if you're looking for a keeper. This week I'm going to tell you how to tell if a guy likes you.
Where do you go to meet decent guys? The answer, of course, is not bars. Going to bars works for drunken hook-ups (and, hey, sometimes that might be what the Dr. ordered), but for something more promising, you need to be sober and talking to someone who isn't just out for a wasted romp. Here are five tried-and-true places to meet guys more likely to be good relationship material.
For many men, Valentine's Day is an absolute nightmare. This should come as no surprise. There's a lot of pressure for us to do things we typically aren't that good at: being sweet and thoughtful, acting lovey-dovey, and making it seem like we're sensitive. Many of us resent that it's a trumped-up holiday, and that restaurants and florists jack up their prices since they know they've got us over a barrel. Plus we're always hearing about some other guy who took his girlfriend horseback riding on the beach in Aruba, so we always feel crappy if we're the Average Joe who only brought home a last-minute box of bon bons. But, like most things in life, Valentine's Day can have some good among all the crud. You just have to go about it right.
If I had to define romance as anything, I'd call it extra—it's the impulse, spurred on by sentiment, to add a little something, to try a little harder, to do one more thing as a sign of the love you have for the other person. And romance is often about translation—about converting your feelings into signals that will be visible to the other person's eye, not merely to your own.
You've heard it before, but I'm not going to browbeat you about the immorality of going all the way on the first night. I'm also not going to say that you're likely to drive away relationship material if, as the adage goes, the man "gets the milk for free." (If that drives him away, then be glad you're seeing the taillights.) No, take it from a man who knows: there's a hidden reason that—if you do it right—you should never have sex on a first date.
A single, 40-year-old man argues that, despite its challenges, monogamy is worth fighting for. He explains, "many of the reasons are obvious—the comfort, having a good-guy reputation, the regular and maybe even condom-free sex—but there are some that might surprise you." He explains, "infidelity is a symptom, not a solution. Ultimately the impulse to cheat might help you get out of a bad relationship, but first you need to see if the relationship is worth trying to hold on to. Striving for monogamy helps you get the most out of a partnership by facing the challenges head-on (the only way that works)."
