We'd stopped being good to each other. We were no longer loving spouses. But by the time my husband suggested separating, I had reached an epiphany. Our marriage was worth saving, I'd decided, and I was willing to do anything it took.
While there are those of us who relish alone time with a good smoothie vibrator and the most-recently-published collection of exhibitionist-themed erotica (me), the truth is that sex toys can be used for so much more than just self-love.
In a culture where polyamory is part of the national vocabulary, sex parties are no longer shocking, and Rihanna is singing about S&M on the radio airwaves, it would seem that kink has finally gone mainstream. Still, there are some things that are still taboo… at least until you peek into women's panties.
When my husband of almost four years asked me if I thought we should divorce, I opened my laptop, pulled up my GQueues account and drew up a to-do list. I titled it My Crumbling Marriage, and tried to get to the bottom of things. Did we still love each other? Did we still want the same things? Why were we so unhappy lately?
When my husband requested a trial separation, his reasoning was that we weren't a good match anymore. He felt that we shouldn't have to compromise in order to find happiness, and that love should be easy. I briefly considered the fact that I might be married to a delusional maniac, then rejected the thought and explained to him that marriage was all about compromise. People change over time and, as a result, relationships must shift in order to accommodate that change. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. According to the results of YourTango's Power of Attraction survey, 33 percent of people feel that "getting [their] partner to change" is a good way to reignite attraction. But should you even be together if you need your partner to change in order to be happy?
Are women having orgasms in bed? Men seem to think so. According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 85 percent of men believe their partner climaxed during their most recent love-making session. If that's the case, women everywhere deserve a shot at an Oscars for their in-bed acting abilities. Because, according to the very same NSSHB study cited above, only 64 percent of women reported reaching orgasm during their most recent sexual event—which means that the other 21 percent are most likely faking it. What's more, an online survey over at SkinnyScoop.com reveals that a whopping 80 percent of women would prefer a massage to sex with their partner. This doesn't seem all that shocking to me. On most days, I'd prefer a box of Cheez-its to another round of unsatisfying sex.
Before Prince William and Kate Middleton tie the knot—something we've been waiting for nearly as long as Kate has—they have to participate in several marriage preparation sessions with the priests who will be involved in their wedding ceremony. The media has seized upon this fact, mostly because of Prince Charles's and Princess Diana's divorce but, in truth, this isn't anything out of the ordinary. In fact, in some faiths, it's a requirement. Are church and state wrong to be butting in on our marriage plans? Or should premarital counseling be something all couples participate in?
Earlier this month, YourTango celebrated the very first Break Up With Your Ex Day. In addition to providing readers with tons of tools and and advice on how to delete an ex from one's life, YourTango also teamed up with the folks behind the film Love Stalker in order to provide those in the New York area with a hands-on way to move on from the past and move forward with true love (or... um... unbridled lust).
On February 13, 2011, YourTango celebrated the very first annual Break Up With Your Ex Day, a day on which we urged people to let go of painful memories, insidious social media connections and dead weight relationship baggage in an attempt to move on in both love and life. We asked you to unfollow, untag, delete, block and erase. How did YourTango readers do?
YourTango tries to always be there for you when it comes to love. We help you set up your online dating profile. We show you how to work a room. We give you tips on how to rock a first date, and then we weigh in when it comes time for your 51st date. Is he the one? We try to help you figure that out and, when you finally say "I do," we give advice on how to make it last. Because dude. Love is hard. But what happens when things don't work out? What happens when love is lost? Well, YourTango has your back then, too. In fact, we're so well-versed in the loss of love that we thought it might be helpful to create a breakup cheat sheet. For your edification, 10 resources for breaking up and moving on.
